
A face on a face? Now that’s true love. Or it better be.
Posted in art, comedian, comic, humor, life, love, photography, Uncategorized on August 26, 2016| 18 Comments »
Posted in art, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, sarcasm, short story, writer, Writing, tagged minds eye on August 25, 2016| 24 Comments »

The following is a series of short random thoughts I had during the day when I should have been doing something productive.
I didn’t stretch my jaw enough before I started talking I think I pulled a muscle. Now I have a headache. Am I the only person alive who has to stretch her jaw muscles to start the day?
I was feeling nostalgic thinking back on my childhood, so I decided to recreate a summer camp memory. I took a shower in cold water pretending I was back in girl scouts … I remembered why I hated girl scouts.
How is it the blinking light on my phone saying I have emails or tweets wakes me up, but I sleep through two alarms? Maybe that’s my super power and I’m now a super hero.
I hate it when I have to go to the doctor for a shot. The shot doesn’t really bother me. It’s my doctor. He has osteoporosis and his nurse has arthritis in her hands. Who do I chose? I wind up flipping a coin,
Posted in animals, art, comedian, entertainment, family, humor, life, love, photography, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged animals on August 24, 2016| 5 Comments »
Posted in art, books, chick lit, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, humor, life, literature, sarcasm, short story, travel, writer, Writing, tagged comedy on August 21, 2016| 71 Comments »

It was early one spring when I found myself on a French highway between Normandy and Paris with my panties strung on a line across the back window of a silver sports car. French truck drivers, not unlike American truck drivers were quick to express their approval of my delicates flapping in the breeze as I zoomed back to Paris.
This would never have happened if I hadn’t decide liquor was more important than panties. You see I worked in Europe three weeks of every month. So naturally, I decided I could forego clothing to create luggage space for more wine and champagne.
This time my brilliance got the best of me. I found myself in the unfortunate position of being in a hotel in rural France without clean panties.
Never fear, I thought, a quick wash in the sink and they’ll be dry and ready for the flight back to the U.S. in the morning.
However, come morning my “delicates” were still wet. Not to be outwitted by panties, I grabbed a string from the hotel owner and strung it across the back window of the sports car I had rented. I set off for Paris, my windows down and my line of undies flapping behind me. Admiring truck drivers honked at me all the way back to Paris.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t calculated air speed and drag, not being of the mathematically minded. As I pulled into the car rental lot to the shocked horror of the Parisian employees, one end of the string had pulled loose and the whole string was waving like a kite high above the back of that sports car shining in the morning sun.
They found me ripping my underwear out of the back window and shoving it into my suitcase just in time to catch my flight. They didn’t even had the decency to look haughty.
Posted in animals, art, books, chick lit, comedian, dating, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, sarcasm, short story, writer, Writing, tagged job on August 20, 2016| 34 Comments »
My Boss has been curious about Twitter. His daughter has an account and he wanted to check out what she might be up to. So he created an account.
The next day he came to me and said, “I’m not sure how, but my daughter figured out I was following her.”
I asked, “What’s your user ID?”
He said, “His first and last name.”
“I think that might be the issue.”
____________________________________________
He sent me a text that said “What’s your phone number?”
I sent back, “I think you just texted it.”
____________________________________________
My boss has the same first name as someone else I know. I was going to be working late so I wrote the following email.
“Dear Tom,
I’m working late tonight. I’ll have to cancel dinner.
Love you, DD”
I accidentally sent the email to my boss, who wrote back –
“We need to finish all the test cases tonight. I’m going to pick up some pizzas.
Tom, your boss not the other one.
P.S. I love you too.”
I love my boss. He understands me better than most, nobody’s perfect.
Posted in art, comedian, comic, entertainment, humor, life, photography, Uncategorized, tagged funny on August 19, 2016| 12 Comments »
Posted in art, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, mental health, Personal, photography, Random, sarcasm, shopping, short story, writer, Writing, tagged work on August 18, 2016| 45 Comments »
I’m sitting here on my toilet while blogging you. Not on the toilet as in its intended use toilet, but in a I don’t have any funiture kind of way.
You see I got a call on Thursday offering me a job in Portland to start on Monday and I live in Dallas. I wouldn’t be able to fly back and forth every week like I’m use to. I would need to stay in Portland for six months.
It’s a really great job and is something I want on my resume. So I spent about two hours throwing stuff in my car and took off. I drove for thirty hours got a hotel and drove another twelve to get here on Saturday. Sunday I took the first apartment I looked at and here I am sitting on the toilet, using the counter as a desk.
Don’t worry the lid is down. I know that might have been a concern for some.
I ordered some furniture which should have arrived over the weekend, but it didn’t. I got a message at 5:00 a.m. saying it will be arriving this morning. So I’m sitting here on my toilet, waiting for something to sit on.
I’m calling this office in a toilet a concept now. It’s really not so bad in here. The heat lamp is warming the place nicely. The porcelean’s bright and white. I have plenty to drink (from the faucet, not like a dog from the toilet). My shampoo and conditioner smells nice. It has pretty good accoustics thanks to the shower. I think I’m going to create a powerpoint and write a book. My new title, The Office Toilet Consultant.
Oh, thank God, the sofa’s here.
Posted in art, comedian, comic, entertainment, humor, life, photography, Uncategorized, tagged funny on August 12, 2016| 8 Comments »