Archive for September, 2012

Someone said something so funny it made me laugh until my eye twitched.

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Ever find yourself thinking “Don’t make me take my hair off?”

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My phone number belonged to a call girl before I got it from T-Mobile. She must have been really good because she still gets calls. I thought about answering numbers I don’t know with some themed response, depending on the time of the year.

For Christmas I thought about answering with –

Do you want a one horse open sleigh or the whole team?

We’re running a two for one special on Santa’s Little Helper.

Would you like the two French hens and my partridge in your pear tree?

And since St. Patty’s Day has just passed –

I’ll trade you my pot of gold for yours.

With this kind of talent, I should be writing erotica.

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I’m going to New Orleans. One of my friends is going too, but she taking her husband and children.
To my friend, if I see you coming towards me and cross the street, it’s not that I don’t love you.  I’m just pretending I don’t know you.

Image from cafebojangles.com

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On my way to New Orleans, I stayed in a less expensive hotel in order to save a little money. It seemed fine enough, except the carpet was sticky, there were no washcloths and no soap. When I called about it, the front desk did give me several packets of shampoo.

I feel dirty and not in a good way.

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