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The Rule of Asses

August 22, 2016 by Deidra Alexander

7 (6)

After hours of shopping, I was trying on slacks in a brightly lit dressing room. Finally, I found a pair that fit perfectly. Tight enough in the right places and loose in others.

When I stepped out of the dressing room to show my friend, she said, “You have the ass that could rule the world.”

Maybe I could rule the world. I seriously considered her statement before realizing there are already enough asses ruling out there now.

Posted in art, books, chick lit, comedian, comic, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, Recommendations, sarcasm, shopping, short story, writer, Writing | Tagged author, comedian, comic, family, fantasy, Fiction, food, foodie, funny, humor, job, life, paranormal, romance, work, writer, writing | 56 Comments

56 Responses

on July 1, 2014 at 11:54 am | Reply Robert Gregory

Lol! No doubt. I’ve often considered my own ass… Is that mmm…suspect at all?

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:33 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Fine art is well appreciated.
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  - on July 2, 2014 at 8:26 pm Robert Gregory
    
    Hahaha are you saying I have an ass or that I AM an ass??? lol 😀
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  - on July 3, 2014 at 9:46 am Deidra Alexander
    
    Are you a politician? Then you have your answer.
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
on July 1, 2014 at 11:57 am | Reply russtowne

I LOVE IT!
Russ

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:32 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Thank you.
  
  LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 12:38 pm | Reply cordeliasmom2012

Nice comeback!

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:31 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  I already have the title of smart ass.
  
  LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 1:09 pm | Reply tom

Is it the Rule of Asses or Asses rule. It seems to work either way 🙂

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:31 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Ass rule. I should consider my asses’ manifesto.
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
on July 1, 2014 at 2:04 pm | Reply ksfinblog

Agreed enough asses out there….

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:29 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  It’s amazing how they gravitate to politics and banking.
  
  LikeLike
  - on July 2, 2014 at 11:22 am ksfinblog
    
    Because every thing needs high quality compost…… 😉
    
    LikeLike
  - on July 3, 2014 at 9:47 am Deidra Alexander
    
    Ha, very true.
    
    LikeLike
  - on July 3, 2014 at 11:57 am ksfinblog
    
    😛
    
    LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 4:16 pm | Reply zfthrimej

If your ass could rule the world, then maybe that could also imply that you (and your entire being) could rule the universe and/or multiple/alternate realities?

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:29 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  I have been accused of living in a fantasy, maybe that counts.
  
  LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 5:14 pm | Reply Let's CUT the Crap!

Ha ha ha. Who wants to be another A$$? On the other hand, were any adjectives like great, or awesome, or hubba-hubba used? Might change the situation. NO? NO problem. Just trying to help…

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:27 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  As always, my friend. I rely on your advice.
  
  LikeLike
  - on July 2, 2014 at 6:53 pm Let's CUT the Crap!
    
    Ha ha. I’m the one who need a.d.v.i.c.e.
    
    LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 5:32 pm | Reply zfthrimej

Also, if your ass could rule the world, maybe your ass can be called “Your Highnass”?

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:27 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Tempting, I must give it some thought. My ass has always wanted to be called high.
  
  LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 5:33 pm | Reply themeanderingmushroomman

please reconsider ~ I am sure your ass would be a significant improvement over the asses that are out there now

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:25 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  It couldn’t be any worse. Alas, I am not an evil curmudgeon.
  
  LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 6:22 pm | Reply reneejohnsonwrites

Perfectly fitting pants? You already are the leader of your world. Yay!!!

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:20 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Point taken.
  
  LikeLike
on July 1, 2014 at 11:52 pm | Reply Ram N

ha haa 🙂

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on July 2, 2014 at 8:33 am | Reply Carrie Maldonado

Love it!

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 2, 2014 at 9:20 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Thanks. The things I could do with my ads.
  
  LikeLike
on July 2, 2014 at 9:23 am | Reply gingerfightback

Buttocks are great

LikeLike
on July 2, 2014 at 10:34 am | Reply unclerave

Just to get one thing out of the way, I readily admit to being an ass, from time to time . . . so, why not now?! I, for one, would like to see a photo of you in those jeans! Preferably, a shot from behind, with you looking back over your shoulder . . . maybe with a naughty wink, too. So, how ’bout it, kid? — YUR 😉

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 3, 2014 at 9:48 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  I will consider it.
  
  LikeLike
on July 2, 2014 at 3:30 pm | Reply John W. Howell

LOL on ruling asses. Thank you for following my blog. Yours is unbelievable if I don’t follow I’m a fool.. . so I am. Following that is.. .not a fool.

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 3, 2014 at 9:47 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Thanks. I guess we’re in the mutual admiration club.
  
  LikeLike
  - on July 3, 2014 at 1:28 pm John W. Howell
    
    I could only hope.
    
    LikeLike
on July 2, 2014 at 8:57 pm | Reply neechers

Well, I never!
Aha, can’t believe I didn’t see that coming :’)

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 3, 2014 at 9:45 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  When it comes to asses there are no rules.
  
  LikeLike
  - on July 3, 2014 at 8:03 pm neechers
    
    Evidently so!
    
    LikeLike
  - on July 4, 2014 at 9:23 am Deidra Alexander
    
    It’s a universal truth, not matter the time or place.
    
    LikeLike
on July 13, 2014 at 9:29 am | Reply paulwhitberg

We certainly do have enough asses ruling;)

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 13, 2014 at 9:01 pm | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  Sing it.
  
  LikeLike
on July 21, 2014 at 2:55 pm | Reply quarteracrelifestyle

Thank you for liking my post….because I am nosy I checked out your blog and glad I did. Love this and your humour 🙂

LikeLiked by 1 person
- on July 24, 2014 at 8:24 am | Reply Deidra Alexander
  
  You’re welcome. And thanks.
  
  LikeLike
on July 1, 2016 at 9:18 am | Reply dipankardasgupta

Wonderful. Enjoyed it hugely.

LikeLiked by 2 people
on August 22, 2016 at 12:15 pm | Reply Anne Bonney

🙂

LikeLiked by 2 people
on August 22, 2016 at 12:44 pm | Reply Léa

Ah Deidra, you should know by now it is only the biggest asses that get elected.
No doubt you are safe. 😉

LikeLiked by 2 people
on August 22, 2016 at 1:03 pm | Reply avian101

🙂 Aint that the truth?

LikeLiked by 2 people
on August 22, 2016 at 3:46 pm | Reply E.C. Orr

🙂

LikeLiked by 1 person
on August 22, 2016 at 3:55 pm | Reply lifehostage32

Haha!! This kind of talk would never happen at a fitting room in England!!!!

LikeLiked by 2 people
on August 22, 2016 at 5:12 pm | Reply philosophermouseofthehedge

Best post read today. Thanks for the laugh – and the quip of reality

LikeLiked by 2 people
on August 22, 2016 at 6:51 pm | Reply trE

Haha! This is sheer hilarity and brilliant in its delivery!

LikeLiked by 2 people
on August 23, 2016 at 2:40 am | Reply fkregieblog

this cracked me up! i will never look at women trying on slacks in shops the same after this. thanks for sharing this witty anecdote.

LikeLiked by 1 person
on August 23, 2016 at 3:55 am | Reply caprimontgomery

LOL.

LikeLiked by 1 person
on August 23, 2016 at 9:09 am | Reply Chapters We Love

lol.. that was great!

LikeLiked by 1 person
on August 29, 2016 at 2:00 am | Reply Writers showcase, Monday, August 29, 2016 | The Write Edge Writing Workshop by Ekta R. Garg

[…] The Rule of Asses […]

LikeLiked by 1 person
on August 29, 2016 at 10:38 am | Reply Grace McCarter

This one is great 😂

LikeLiked by 1 person

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