Archive for June, 2011

My Grandmother wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread over a field of blue bonnets. So after she was cremated, someone thought it was be a good idea to take handfuls of her and spread her around thinking good thoughts. Midway through I realized how disgusting this was. That was about the time the wind picked up. Grandma blew back in my face and I choked on her.

On our way home, one of my sisters wanted to go through a drive through and pick up a burger.

I said, “I have to go in. I have Grandma all over my hands and steering wheel.”

My sister start to laugh. That’s when I realized she a smudge of Grandma on her teeth. I told her to keep her mouth shut, but she never listens. I wonder if that makes her a cannibal.

Someday soon I’ll have to tell you how my sisters misplaced Mom. They are in so much trouble when they get to heaven.

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I have meetings during the week that I find less than interesting. To encourage myself to stay alert, I try to come up with good first lines for a  novel. Here’s a few from yesterday –

I new insanity was pervasive here, I just didn’t realize it was contagious.

Blue reminds me of the ocean, crystal clear skies, calm summer days. I hate blue.

I had under estimated the creature I hunted and Paulo had paid for it with his life. (Used this one.)

Moments like this are why I don’t keep chocolate in my desk.

It is during sleepless nights my biggest disappointments come to light.

At my age, I no longer regret the things I’ve done, I regret those I haven’t done.

The edge of anything is always a bad place to be.

And last but not least, one for you to finish –

Somewhere an old brain cell must have fired up again when I remembered <fill in the blank>.

Until the next boring meeting.

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For fans of Prairie Jones Dreamwalker, I’ve posted a scene on her page from the last week of school. She had another run in with Charlene, head cheerleader. Want to bet on who won? I’ll catch you up later this week.

For all of you who are out for the summer, rock on for the girl with a job. Let’s see if I can hold onto it for a few more weeks. My boss has a thing about time and I have a thing about ignoring it and him. Remember, I’m on twitter @deidraalexander.

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