Posted in art, books, chick lit, comedian, comic, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, Recommendations, sarcasm, shopping, short story, writer, Writing, tagged author, comedian, comic, family, fantasy, Fiction, food, foodie, funny, humor, job, life, paranormal, romance, work, writer, writing on August 22, 2016| 56 Comments »
After hours of shopping, I was trying on slacks in a brightly lit dressing room. Finally, I found a pair that fit perfectly. Tight enough in the right places and loose in others.
When I stepped out of the dressing room to show my friend, she said, “You have the ass that could rule the world.”
Maybe I could rule the world. I seriously considered her statement before realizing there are already enough asses ruling out there now.
Posted in animals, anxiety, art, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fantasy/Scifi, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, My Writing Updates, Personal, photography, Random, Recommendations, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged author, comedian, comedy, comic, family, funny, humor, job, laugh, life, work, writer, writing on August 15, 2016| 28 Comments »
Jim was a nuclear physicist, a brilliant man. Much to his own detriment, he didn’t know when to stop thinking.
He had been through a series of interviews. The job was basically his. All he had to do was pass a drug screening. I don’t know if they said drug test or not. I’m assuming not, they must have been vague.
The company had an on-site clinic where the test was performed.
So, Jim comes toddling in. The tech hands him a cup and tells him to return the sample to her desk.
Does Jim think “They want to see if I use drugs.”?
No.
He thinks “It’s a nuclear facility. They want to take a baseline reading now so they can measure the affects of potential radiation exposure over time.”
So instead of urine, he gives them a sperm sample. He is still trying to figure out why he didn’t get the job.
Can you imagine the technician’s reaction when a cup of sperm lands on her desk?
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