Archive for January, 2012

Does anyone else get tangled in their clothes?

I put on a sports bra this morning and the real sport turned out to be trying to get the thing off. I thought I was going to have to cut my way out or call for the jaws of live. I would have considered phone a friend but that conversation wouldn’t have gone so great.

“Hey friend. Whatcha doing?”

“Nothing, what about you?”

“Well, now that you ask, I put on a sports bra. When I tried to take it off, it got stuck. So it’s around my arm pits and I can’t put my arms down.”

The other day, I was trying to put on some wrap thingie and got tangled. I found myself spinning in circles, like my dog when she’s chasing her tail.

Now I remember why I don’t write a fashion blog.


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Dear Store Manager,

The Christmas stuff that didn’t sale before Christmas isn’t going to sell now at 30% off. I’m afraid the candy cane door mat, pine scented candles, and reindeer PJs all not happening. You need to cut your losses.

Think of Easter. That grass-skirt clad Santa isn’t going to be cute with colored eggs around it. Besides I hear the Easter Bunny doesn’t like to share.

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Yes, I’m still stuck on Christmas. I think I have enough posts to stretch this out to Valentine’s Day, but I’ll spare you.

I hate to be a Scrooge so this is my last Christmas related post.

Things I dislike, intensely about Christmas.

Stores so crowded you have hair in your mouth and it isn’t yours.

Christmas gifts that are chores.

Relatives who sign people up for dating services. That isn’t a gift even if you filled out the questionnaire and created the profile.

Anything of the month, except alcohol and chocolate.

-10 degrees. I don’t care of it’s fahrenheit or celcius. I don’t like it.

Rumors I didn’t start.

Things I love about Christmas.

Rumors I started.

Laughing until you cry because your sisters are so stupid funny.

The faces of little children Christmas morning.

The crunch of snow and the silence of a bitter cold night.

Reliving your childhood with your siblings and cousins.

Snowball fights, sled rides, horses, falling into snow drifts so deep you need help getting out.

Roaring fires, hot chocolate, knowing looks when your crazy elders speak their ‘wisdom’.

Your crazy elders you hope will live forever, but know won’t.

And yes, maybe even the tree you were given. That’s where I’ll be the rest of the day, the six hour journey to get the tree. Hopefully it produces apples of gold, real not gold plated.

And one more thing, remember the Writer’s Digest’s Best Websites Contest. If you read a blog and think, Wow she’s really funny, ignore her and remember me. Instructions provided purely as a public service.

1. Send brief email to writersdigest@fwmedia.com (click now)

2. Put 101 Best Websites Nominations in subject line. (cut and paste now)

3. As an example include some kind of note like

Please consider Deidra Alexander’s Blog at www.deidraalexander.com for your list of 101 Best Website. (copy and paste optional. )

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