Archive for July, 2012

I taught my four year old neice, Elizabeth to sing Lizzie Borden. It’s really creepy when sung with such a sweet voice. Why won’t my sister let me babysit anymore?


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If your feeling hate and disdain, take it somewhere else. I’m raining on this parade.

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I reuse aluminum foil and paper towels. My friends keep telling me you didn’t go through the great depression like your grandmother.

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Someone asked for my God given name.

I said, “I didn’t know my mother was God?”

That explains things like the eyes in the back of her head.

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I’m doing research for a book that’s set in New Orleans.

While I was there, I wanted to find a voodoo shop. I went into several. One in particular seemed more authentic, since they weren’t selling ‘I got too drunk in New Orleans’ t-shirts next to the voodoo dolls.

They had a variety of stuff I imagine to be reminiscent of such a place: potions, herbs, candles, and dolls of course. In the back, they gave readings. Then I found the one thing the cinched it for me. A voodoo pencil, decorated with paint and fabric to look like a voodoo doll.

Leave it to me to find the Martha Stewart of Voodoo Priestesses.

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