Posted in Uncategorized, tagged art, author, blue bonnets, cannibal, comedian, comedy, cremation, drive-inns, family. job, flowers, funeral, funny, hamburgers, humor, humour, job, laugh, sisters, writer, writing on June 20, 2016|
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My Grandmother wanted her ashes spread over a field of blue bonnets. So after she was cremated, we set out to find the perfect place. It became somewhat of a contest.
I have four sisters and two brothers. Cell phones at the ready, we all set out like it was some kind of race to find the perfect place. Pictures flew of green fields with a smattering of blue. None were considered worthy of Grams.
The hunt continued some good contenders were found, but nothing quite right. One of my brothers even submitted a dense patch of blue in the median somewhere along highway 67. Be real Bro. Who wants to visit Grams along a busy stretch of country highway?
Finally, one of my over achieving sisters found a rolling patch of blue leading down to a lake. (I say she’s over achieving mostly because I didn’t find it myself.)
And so we scheduled a lovely morning to say farewell to Grams. I met my sister, the over achiever to car pool. Someone thought it would be a good idea to take handfuls of her and spread her around thinking good thoughts.
Midway through I realized how disgusting this was. That was about the time the wind picked up. Grandma blew back in my face and I choked on her.
On our way home, my sisters wanted to go through a drive through and pick up a burger.
I said, “I have to go in. I have Grandma all over my hands and steering wheel.”
My sister start to laugh.
I took one look at her and said, “You have a smudge of Grandma on your teeth.”
I don’t know how many time I’ve told my sister to keep her mouth shut. She never listens. I think this makes her a cannibal.
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