What did I last post? Have you ever had that thought? You couldn’t quite remember the last entry on your blog.
I thought, Maybe I haven’t been posting as often as I should.
I mulled this over for a while and started to feel little queasy. No, surely not, That was preposterous.
There must be some other reason for my memory lapse.
Perhaps I was ill. Yes, of course that must be it.
I toddled to the bathroom cabinet and took my temperature. No no fever. I rubbed my hands against the sides of my neck. No, no swollen glands, no sore throat, stuffiness, or aches and pains. Nothing to indicate illness.
But if not illness, then what?
It must be those airport scanners. I fly twice a week. The scanners probably wiped my memory.
What did I have for dinner last night? Trick question, I didn’t have dinner I had a giant peanut butter chocolate Easter egg.
I remember my Mother’s maiden name, the French I learned in 5th grade, and the color of my first tricycle. Damn it. Memory intact.
What else could it be? Was I neglectful? No. Was I lazy? We’ll come back to that one. Did I loose my snappy repartee? No, it couldn’t be. I dismissed them all.
By now you might be thinking – “Why doesn’t she just look at the date stamp on the post?”
No, I won’t. I refuse. It’s like time traveling and seeing yourself. It might rip the space-time continuum apart. No I must figure this out for myself.
Then it hit me. My new best friend, Bernie, she works in the bar at the hotel where I stay. She was shocked that I can drink whiskey straight up. I start every evening with a complimentary whiskey. That’s it. It doesn’t have anything to do with time. Of course I posted often enough. Of course I’m responsible. Of course I honor my commitments.
I must have been drunk when I last posted. That’s why I can’t remember what it was about.
P. S. I’m still refusing to look at the time stamp.