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Archive for the ‘books’ Category

Day 2 Ten Day Writing Challenge

Posted in animals, art, book review, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, Fiction, humor, life, literature, photography, sarcasm, women, writer, Writing on May 30, 2017| 5 Comments »


That’s why my sweaters have cat hair on the inside.

Today, the challenge states to write whatever comes to mind. Wow, that’s dangerous.

I made the mistake of leaving my office door open last night. This morning, I found a state of disarray, chewed bits of paper, pens, pencils, containers, notebooks, paper, and books littered the floor. Kitties gone wild and wasn’t even spring break.

I left a jar, empty of olives, but still containing juice on my desk. My cats decided olive juice was the next best thing to catnip. They dumped the jar over so that it leaked a bit, then chewed up any paper that had juice on it. They must have rolled around with the jar, trying to get it open and knocked everything off of my desk.

I found the two of them trying to gnaw their way through the lid. There aren’t any pictures, because they scattered and have been hiding ever since. I’m going to need a trash bag.

Today must be a two for one day.

I’ve been meaning to write a post about one of my favorite books, Ann B. Ross’s Miss Julia Speaks Her Mind . 

Miss Julia is a southern widow who lives in a small town. Her husband, a miserly man has left her a small fortune and everyone wants a piece of it. He also left his mistress a small child. The mistress, trashy Hazel Marie Pucket shows up on Miss Julia’s doorstep and dumps her nine-year-old son with Miss Julia. Now in addition to fighting off money grubbing frien-emies, her orderly world is turned upside-down when she has to contend with her husband’s misdeed.

One of my favorite subplots is when Miss Julia’s minister convinces her she’s a nymphomaniac.  I laughed so hard I snorted when someone suggested a “cure”. If you’re looking for something funny to read Miss Julia Speaks Her Mind is for you.

 

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Give Me A Sign

Posted in art, books, cold, comedian, comic, entertainment, food, humor, life, photography, sarcasm, writer, Writing on May 29, 2017| 15 Comments »


For those who don’t know, this is the first day of a writing challenge I agreed to – Write everyday for 10 days. First, that was a stupid idea. Second, I must have been drunk or off my meds or both when I agreed to this challenge.

The instructions for the first day started with “Go for a hike …”. You must not know me or if you do, you hate me. My sisters are having a good laugh with that one word – hike. They’re thinking, “The challenge is dead.”

The rest of that sentence ended with “… until you find a sign that speaks to you.” That is procrastination waiting to happen. I could be hiking for years before I find a sign that speaks to me. For gosh sakes, where do you find a speaking sign? Should I just go to Pinterest and see if something speaks to me there?

Then it hit me, I know where there’s a speaking sign. The sign at the Arby’s drive through.

It speaks to me. It says, “What’ll you have?”

And I say , “Why the one with cheese, of course.”

No hiking involved. Two birds, one stone, booya.

So I headed down to Arby’s and had a sandwich, sans the soda. I can’t have the bubble stuff anymore due to being poisoned.

Soda without the bubbles is just flat. And who wants that?

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Voices in My Head

Posted in animals, art, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, food, humor, life, photography, sarcasm, work, writer, Writing on May 26, 2017| 13 Comments »


I have been challenged. Someone had thrown down the gauntlet and I felt compelled to pick it up. I met someone who has written everyday for more the 1,600 days. I mentioned how much I admired her accomplishment and then next thing you know she’s inviting me to write everyday for the next ten days. She’s going to provide writing prompts. I haven’t ever done writing prompts. I’m not even sure I can write from a prompt.

I’m supposed to publicly announce it and then post my “stuff”.

I was like, “I don’t have a public to announce it to. I’ll have to get some public before I can start.”

And she was like, “How about your blog?”

I said, “That’s not public. I write stupid stuff and then people I know write stupid stuff about my stupid stuff.”

She thought that was an excuse and said, “That’s good enough.”

Obviously, she hasn’t heard about the advance procrastination course I’m working on thinking about putting together. Which reminds me, I should get started.

Is that the sound of cellophane? Are there snacks in the house I don’t know about? That could be a cookie. I must go investigate and I’ll need tea to go with the cookies. I’ll probably be a little sleepy after all that sugar. I feel a nap coming on. …

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New Project …

Posted in animals, art, books, business, comedian, comic, entertainment, Fiction, flash fiction, food, humor, life, literature, photography, sarcasm, work, writer, Writing on May 24, 2017| 10 Comments »


Everyone seems to be teaching some kind of class or writing some kind of how to book. Someone suggested I take an inventory of my skills and then create an empire around my greatest ability. I thought jeez I want an empire, surely I learned a thing or two worth knowing. Sure enough I found one skill I have that far outstrips all of the others, procrastination. Yes, I could teach a master’s class. So, I want to introduce a seminar I’m putting together to teach the fine art.

I’m going to get back to putting together the materials. Right after I paint the note cards I used for another project. If I paint them, I can use them again. While they’re drying I’ll play another game a solitaire and read my emails. After that I’ll clean off my desk. You can’t start a new project with a dirty desk. Have I checked Facebook today? I need a fan page.

Gosh this is exhausting work. Maybe a a nap. I’ll be refreshed a ready to go after a nap. What’s that spot on the wall? I should probably clean that. Oh look a squirrel. Where’s my camera? …

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One of Those Weeks

Posted in animals, art, books, business, children, entertainment, family, Fiction, humor, life, mother's day, mothers day, photography, sarcasm, women, work, writer, Writing on May 15, 2017| 11 Comments »


Someone advised me to network with other authors. I was going to offer my services for something I’m really good at. Then this morning I realized I can’t remember what I’m really good at. I think I’m getting an early case of my Mother’s forgetfulness.

She use to run around the house saying, “Where are my glasses? Where are my glasses?”

Someone would invariably say, “They’re on your head.”

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Posted in art, Best Seller, book review, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, Fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, sarcasm, writer, Writing on May 12, 2017| 3 Comments »


I’m spending the day writing or in this case writing about writing. I started the day at a word count of 16,800 words for my book Who Stole the Corporate Sausage. To give some perspective my target word count is 50,000 words, so I’m about 30% through. I’m hoping to finish the first and second draft by the end of the month. Ambitious, I know.

I’m finishing the formatting for a vegetarian cookbook I’ve also been working on. It includes a few alcoholic beverages. It turns out alcohol is vegan. Who knew? Perhaps this vegetarian thing won’t be so bad after all. Maybe I’ll change the title to The Drunk Vegetarian.

Since today is Friday, the day can only get better with each passing hour, so here’s to the best hour of all, happy hour. Cheers.

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Who Stole the Corporate Sausage?

Posted in animals, art, Best Seller, books, business, comedian, comic, dilbert, entertainment, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, My Writing Updates, Personal, photography, sarcasm, the office, work, writer, Writing on May 11, 2017| 15 Comments »


I’m writing a book of humorous essays and quips called Who Stole the Corporate Sausage? Think Dilbert met the TV show The Office and had a love child. I’m thinking of releasing a free shorter version with some of the content called My Boss Is An Asterisks Hole. 

Is this something you guys might be interested in?

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Unhappy Kitty

Posted in animals, art, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, sarcasm, writer, Writing on April 27, 2017| 20 Comments »


I’m trying to work today, however my cat has other ideas. He has gone from the back of my chair, to my lap, my desk, my keyboard and now my mouse. Oh Annoying Cat, go somewhere else. I’m trying to write a book. Maybe I should have gotten a gold fish.

How does your pet try to get attention?

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Hotels

Posted in art, books, cleaning, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, women, writer, Writing, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 18, 2017| 30 Comments »


haunted-house

On my way to New Orleans, I stayed in a less expensive hotel in order to save a little money. It seemed fine enough, except the carpet was sticky, there were no washcloths and no soap. The front desk clerk said they were out of soap, but I could have an extra packet of shampoo.

I slept with my coat on. I feel dirty and not in a good way.

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Call Me a Girl, Not a Call Girl

Posted in anxiety, books, chick lit, comedian, comic, dating, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, romance, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, women, writer, Writing, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 17, 2017| 33 Comments »


garden girl

My phone number belonged to a call girl before I got it from T-Mobile. She must have been really good because she still gets calls. I thought about answering numbers I don’t know with some themed response.

Since it was Christmas –

Do you want a one horse open sleigh or the whole team?

We’re running a two for one special on Santa’s Little Helper.

Would you like the two French hens and my partridge in your pear tree?

 

With this kind of talent, I should be writing erotica.

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