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World Domination: The Evil Organization

Posted in art, blogging, books, business, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fantasy/Scifi, Fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, sarcasm, work, writer, Writing on June 19, 2017| 6 Comments »


I’ve decide on the name for our secret organization, Star Gazers. (We need a cool logo. Any artists out there with ideas, otherwise we’ll windup with me and a crayon. Probably not the image we’re going for.) I haven’t decided on our purpose other than the general goal of world domination. Should it be outright domination or subversive domination? Should we be that scary anonymous group pulling the strings behind the scenes? Yes, I think so.

I have an idea. (I’m listening to the sound track from Lord of the Rings which may be coloring my decisions). We need to create a nano technology that we can fly into the ears of the world leaders. Our command will become their desire. Unless anyone else has another idea. I don’t want to become one of those domineering evil masterminds. This should be a democracy.

While our mad scientist staff begins working on the prototype, I’ll be working on another project. I was advised to take my current goal and 10 times it. Don’t worry, I won’t be making 10 blog posts a day. I will be attempting to complete my novel, Who Stole the Corporate Sausage?  in 10 count them, 10 days. Yes you heard me right, not months, not weeks, but days.

So here’s the plan. I have completed the first 25%. I’m going to attempt to map out the next 25% and write it today and tomorrow. Don’t you just love these last minute ideas, made without giving any thought to feasibility? I’ll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

P.S. I’m working on the secret decoder.

P.S. 2.0 If anyone else is writing about our world domination, let me know so I can link to your posts.

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Day 6 Writing Challenge – Morphing Post

Posted in art, blogging, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, photography, sarcasm, work, writer, Writing on June 5, 2017| 9 Comments »


In today’s challenge, I’m supposed to write a blog post and let it organically morph into another topic. Not sure why, but then again I probably didn’t read the instructions.

Men got nothing on me. When I need to assemble something, I take out all of the pieces; hold a screw driver and the instructions (upside down); and start reading out loud. Before you know it, someone grabs the instructions and screwdriver and starts assembling. I don’t need no stinkin’ instructions.

I wonder if that counts. I started writing about the writing challenge and then digressed into instructions and assembly. Hey, maybe that’s a subplot. Maybe I’m subconsciously a writer. I’m taking a writing class online. It’s less writing and more outlining and preparing to write. I’m much better at preparing to write than I am actually writing.

I’m also taking a procrastination class. It turns out it isn’t about procrastination at all. Quite the opposite, it’s about doing stuff. Like ALL DAY. And by stuff, I don’t mean napping. Napping was not on the list.

Step one was to estimate how long everything would take to finish and then time yourself doing it to see how accurate your estimates were. So I estimated everything I normally do and then timed myself doing it. And after analyzing the results I discovered, I’m really good at procrastinating, quite efficient and effective.

I’m not sure he meant for me to time the activities I perform to procrastinate or the activities I should have been performing if I wasn’t procrastinating. I think his instructions were a little vague.

I did discover one thing, See if you can follow this train of thought. (Warning, Ride can make you dizzy.)

Things I use to keep from doing by procrastinating become the things I do to procrastinate if I find something I don’t want to do more than the things I was supposed to do before. Follow that? Don’t worry I barely did.

I use to procrastinate writing blog posts and would do other things to keep from writing blog posts. Now I write blog posts to keep from working on my book. I think I may have stumbled on gold. Now I need to find something I don’t want to do more than writing a book. I don’t know if it’s really accurate to say I don’t want to write a book maybe I’m scared of writing a book. (This is a suggestion from procrastination 101.)

I’ve written like a mad person in the past, when I’ve had a muse. Someone who appreciated and encouraged my work. I can understand why artists who found such a person kept them around. Never underestimate the value of a muse. Where does one find a muse? I wonder if I could build my own.

I may start a YouTube channel The Muse Builder. It starts with a blowup doll, male or female? He / she will need a smashing outfit. Now this sounds productive.

P.S. I was adding search categories to this post and thought about using Mental Health issues. It seems to fit today’s post, but then again it seems to fit most of my posts.

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Day 5 Writing Challenge Road Trip

Posted in art, blogging, books, chocolate, Christmas, cold, comedian, comic, entertainment, Fiction, flash fiction, holiday, humor, life, literature, photography, sarcasm, work, writer on June 2, 2017| 3 Comments »


Day 5 of the writing challenge is to write a story about a road trip, fact or fiction, with dialogue as if it’s happening.

The sky was so gray it seemed the sun would never shine again. It match the biting cold. This was the last factory on my schedule. Once I checked in with these guys, I could go home for Christmas. I was eager to get to finish my review and get some shopping done. It wasn’t everyday I was working in the south of France, so champagne, chocolate and china were top on my list.

What wasn’t top on my list the crawling pace of the traffic ahead of me. A few hours outside of Paris and everything had come to a virtual standstill.  I was just outside of a small village, a one horse town. Since it was France, maybe a one snail town was more appropriate especially considering the pace. I could have walked faster then we were driving.

I have to say that little silver rental car had one heck of a heater. It wasn’t long before I had to crack the window. I waited semi-patiently my thumb tapping on the steering wheel to the tune on the radio. I heard something strange. Horns, maybe a tuba? It certainly wasn’t in keeping with the French version of pop music playing on the radio.

I turned the radio off, rolled the window down and listened. Drums. Cymbals. It was definitely music. As we crept up to the edge of town, the ten or so shops which made up the business district were decked with tinsel and bells.  People lined the streets mostly women and children bundled against the cold. Some cameras flashed.

What was going on?

I leaned out of the window to catch a glimpse of the traffic ahead as the road curved to the left. Ahead of me I glimpsed a marching band, a fire truck and several fancy cars. That’s when I realized I was in the middle of the town’s Christmas parade.

I smiled and waved as people snapped my picture. Later they probably asked each other, “Who was that woman in the silver car?”

I like to thing the reply was, “A visiting dignitary, of course.”

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Day 3 Writing Challenge

Posted in animals, art, blogging, books, business, comedian, comic, entertainment, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, politics, sarcasm, science, work, writer, Writing on May 31, 2017| 10 Comments »


Today’s writing challenge – Find a news article, read and then write your own take on it. It also mentioned something about journalists being impartial.

By now both you and I know I spend more time writing about the writing prompt then actually writing what the prompt says. On my blog I don’t write about controversial topics. I don’t write about politics, religion, or world events. Mainly because as weird as my humor is, my views are weirder.

Journalists impartial, that’s a laugh. Every article I read was an opinion piece. I doubt journalist about as much as I doubt bankers and politicians. Attorneys have dropped to four in my doubtful people list. Good news for attorneys I suppose.

I decided to stay relatively safe and write about science. (Though I don’t know why they had to demote Pluto, the planet, not the dog. They may have demoted the dog too. But that might be controversial, I don’t know what Pluto has been up to since I was a kid. He and I haven’t kept in touch.)

I looked through several studies and found something curious. Scientists read a bunch of other studies and then write a study of their opinion of the other studies. Back when I was in school that was called a book report. I know I’m going back to grade school, but I remember having to develop a theory, run experiments, record observations and then write the results. I didn’t know I could watch Jo Ann’s experiment. Her father was a NASA engineer. She could run through some science let me tell you. If I had read her report and written one about her’s, I would have gotten a much better grade. But for some reason my teacher called that cheating.

Someone needs to have a talk with my teacher. It turns out it wasn’t cheating, it was science and I was a genius ahead of my time.  Maybe I should become a scientist, I was good at writing book reports. Oh wait, that’s writing again, which is why I’m doing the writing challenge in the first place. Catch twenty-two.

Maybe I’ll start a political blog for my bizarre views. I’m not a Republican or Democrat. I’m an equal opportunity hater. Oh wait, another blog. That means more writing. Crap. I’m going in circles.

Why do all of my ideas involve more writing? Maybe that’s tomorrow’s writing prompt.

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Voices in My Head

Posted in animals, art, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, food, humor, life, photography, sarcasm, work, writer, Writing on May 26, 2017| 13 Comments »


I have been challenged. Someone had thrown down the gauntlet and I felt compelled to pick it up. I met someone who has written everyday for more the 1,600 days. I mentioned how much I admired her accomplishment and then next thing you know she’s inviting me to write everyday for the next ten days. She’s going to provide writing prompts. I haven’t ever done writing prompts. I’m not even sure I can write from a prompt.

I’m supposed to publicly announce it and then post my “stuff”.

I was like, “I don’t have a public to announce it to. I’ll have to get some public before I can start.”

And she was like, “How about your blog?”

I said, “That’s not public. I write stupid stuff and then people I know write stupid stuff about my stupid stuff.”

She thought that was an excuse and said, “That’s good enough.”

Obviously, she hasn’t heard about the advance procrastination course I’m working on thinking about putting together. Which reminds me, I should get started.

Is that the sound of cellophane? Are there snacks in the house I don’t know about? That could be a cookie. I must go investigate and I’ll need tea to go with the cookies. I’ll probably be a little sleepy after all that sugar. I feel a nap coming on. …

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New Project …

Posted in animals, art, books, business, comedian, comic, entertainment, Fiction, flash fiction, food, humor, life, literature, photography, sarcasm, work, writer, Writing on May 24, 2017| 10 Comments »


Everyone seems to be teaching some kind of class or writing some kind of how to book. Someone suggested I take an inventory of my skills and then create an empire around my greatest ability. I thought jeez I want an empire, surely I learned a thing or two worth knowing. Sure enough I found one skill I have that far outstrips all of the others, procrastination. Yes, I could teach a master’s class. So, I want to introduce a seminar I’m putting together to teach the fine art.

I’m going to get back to putting together the materials. Right after I paint the note cards I used for another project. If I paint them, I can use them again. While they’re drying I’ll play another game a solitaire and read my emails. After that I’ll clean off my desk. You can’t start a new project with a dirty desk. Have I checked Facebook today? I need a fan page.

Gosh this is exhausting work. Maybe a a nap. I’ll be refreshed a ready to go after a nap. What’s that spot on the wall? I should probably clean that. Oh look a squirrel. Where’s my camera? …

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One of Those Weeks

Posted in animals, art, books, business, children, entertainment, family, Fiction, humor, life, mother's day, mothers day, photography, sarcasm, women, work, writer, Writing on May 15, 2017| 11 Comments »


Someone advised me to network with other authors. I was going to offer my services for something I’m really good at. Then this morning I realized I can’t remember what I’m really good at. I think I’m getting an early case of my Mother’s forgetfulness.

She use to run around the house saying, “Where are my glasses? Where are my glasses?”

Someone would invariably say, “They’re on your head.”

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Who Stole the Corporate Sausage?

Posted in animals, art, Best Seller, books, business, comedian, comic, dilbert, entertainment, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, My Writing Updates, Personal, photography, sarcasm, the office, work, writer, Writing on May 11, 2017| 15 Comments »


I’m writing a book of humorous essays and quips called Who Stole the Corporate Sausage? Think Dilbert met the TV show The Office and had a love child. I’m thinking of releasing a free shorter version with some of the content called My Boss Is An Asterisks Hole. 

Is this something you guys might be interested in?

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