Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘family. job’

Remember Maybelle, Not of the Ice Cream Fame, the Rubbers Fame

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2014| 9 Comments »


Maybelle collected butterflies (warning if you have a pet butterfly, stop reading). She had a lovely collection on the wall behind her desk, close to thirty.

The collection was so varied no two were the same colors.

It was a lovely day in spring.

One day I was asking her a question, “When are we going to take the V22 out for a test run, I want to shot some missiles?” A breeze came through the open door on my right, bringing with it the smell of the Chesapeake Bay. Everything faded around me. I was hardly listening anymore.

“We don’t have any tests scheduled until next month…”

I was lost in early spring. Maybelle had added another butterfly to her collection. It was pale yellow with bright blue on the tail.

“… and we’re not testing missiles.”

Then the wing flipped. I jumped, blinking. That can’t be right. It’s wing flipped again.  Oh no.  It wasn’t still alive!

Oh yes it was. Maybelle had caught a butterfly at lunch and pinned it to the wall.

I never crossed Maybelle after that.  She was a butterfly hit man and I didn’t want her turning to humans.

Read Full Post »

Yes, I do accept money orders, checks, cashier check…

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 19, 2014| 28 Comments »


I was reading a couple of blogs this afternoon when I came across one that mentioned Writer Sponsorships. Really? Is there such a thing?

I’ve sponsored several of my friends and their children to dance, walk, march (band), play, run, whatever. Paying an amount per hour, mile or whatever. For things such as loving trees, hugging trees, planting trees, saving trees, and well whatever.

However, I never thought of a sign up sheet for sponsoring my writing, some sum of money for amount of words or pages written during a certain period of time. That’s brilliant. For example someone, probably a great aunt who pities me, might offer twenty-five cents for every 100 or 500 or 1,000 words or pages in a 14 day period.

Interesting idea, how fast would I write if I were actually getting paid? Could I or would I finish a rough draft in 14 days?

Okay, I’m convinced. I’ve made up my sponsor sheet and I’m sitting right here with my favorite pencil, poised ready to sign you up.

Sitting here, not writing, just waiting for you or anyone… It’s very quiet. … Very, very. …

Read Full Post »

Maybelle in Her 70’s Gives Noteworthy Advice

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2014| 21 Comments »


I’m supposed to blog everyday, except I missed Monday. I’m back today to try again.

A while back, I was working in Maryland. An engineer moved from Atlanta to work with us.

After the first week so, a technician in her 70s, Maybelle gave him some note worthy advice.

With a big grin on her face, Maybelle said, “I know what you need?”

To which Willie replied with an equally big grin, “What?”

She said, “Rubbers.”

Willie’s smile waned. “What?”

“You’re going to need rubbers and good strong ones.”

Maybelle continued to grin.

Willie’s smile was replaced by confusion. He began rocking from one foot to another. He looked at me.

How long should I let the show continue?

I shrugged, asking, “Do you two need some alone time?”

“No!” Willie snapped. “Look,” he stammered at Maybelle, “… you’re a nice person … I mean it’s not that I don’t like you … you’re very interesting …”

Maybelle continued grinning. She had no clue.

“Galoshes, it rains a lot, there’s swamps and things get boggy.” I had to rescue him. He was going to upset Maybelle and she was 76 after all.

So, if you’re in a really wet climate, look for those really strong rubbers.

Read Full Post »

Who Needs Cable When You have a Brother-in-law

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2014| 17 Comments »


Was at my sisters a few weeks ago.

My young nephew, the Pistol, asked his Dad, “What does CENSORED mean?”

His Dad replied, “It’s CENSORED, not CENSORED.”

My sister turned molten rage in her eyes, steam coming out of her ears.

I grabbed a drink and pulled up a chair. For once I was quiet. I didn’t want to get kicked out when things were getting really good.

My Sister yelled, “Why did you tell him how to pronounce it?”

My Brother-in-law replied, “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking.”

Good one, Bro. I’m sure she’ll run with that.

At which point the Pistol asked, “BUT, WHAT DOES CENSORED MEAN?”

My sister turned to him and said, “You go sit on the front porch.” She must have noticed me then, because she added, “You too.”

I said “What, I didn’t laugh?”

She gave me the hairy eyeball.

So, the Pistol and I were sitting on the front porch when he asked, “What does CENSORED mean?”

“It’s a bad word.”

“Oh, why didn’t they just tell me that?”

“I don’t know, they’re your parents.”

“Yeah, they send me out here a lot when I ask about new words.”

“Yeah, me too.”

So I’m assuming my Sister is having a REALLY good Valentine’s Day. If not, I’m sure her and her husband are discussing new words.

Read Full Post »

Coffee and Lots of Chocolate

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2014| 8 Comments »


A few years ago, we got a new coffee flavor at the office, Chocolate Doughnut. If there was ever a coffee for me, that’s got to be the one. So of course, I tried it. Chocolate Doughnut awesome greatness, right? No, I couldn’t find the chocolate doughnut because of all the coffee.

However, that gave me a super idea. The office also had a candy dish. I grabbed three Three Musketeers, dropped them into the Chocolate Doughnut coffee, and stirred until dissolved. It didn’t help. Coffee is obviously a demon’s brew, because it totally overwhelmed the chocolate. And, we all know chocolate is a gift from heaven.

Since I had wasted three chocolates, I felt obliged to drink it anyway.  I was sick as a dog. Obviously, coffee is poison, because we all know chocolate could never make me sick.

Read Full Post »

Can a Blogger Post Everyday?

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2014| 22 Comments »


What could I possibly write about everyday? There’s only so much of the Pistol anyone can take. Someone said she created her photo album pages using everyday cues, For instance, she looked at her coffee and create pages involving coffee.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to write about coffee. I don’t drink coffee.

But my Mom did. She was an artist and drank 15 to 20 cups a day while she was painting. One day, I noticed she rinsed her paintbrushes in her coffee instead of the water.

“Deedeeann,” she called, (That’s me.) “make me coffee, please.”

On my way to the kitchen it struck me. Did she like the taste of the cream or the color of the coffee? So began my experiments.

First, I tried flour. Did she notice any difference? No.

Baking soda? No.

Baking powder? No.

Ice cream? Well maybe, she asked me to make another cup. Not really my goal.

If I wanted to get out of being the sole coffeemaker, I would have to take drastic action. Mayonnaise.

I was out of the rotation for several months until she forgot and then the experiments started anew.

I don’t know where the Pistol gets it.

 

Read Full Post »

Picture of the Pistol

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 11, 2014| 2 Comments »


Image

The Pistol Hiking Last Fall

Read Full Post »

My Sister … Again

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2014| 16 Comments »


I’m not one to complain. Okay I am, but I haven’t blogged lately.

When my sister was over, she left one of those airplane catalogs in my bathroom. She had strategically circled certain items. She claims it wasn’t left on purpose. She forgot it and wants it back.

Too late. Dear Sis, you know the monogrammed roll of toilet paper you didn’t circle? Check it off your list. I have a role of toilet paper and a sharpie right here. Sharpie’s are water proof, so it’s save for guests and children.

For that matter, if anyone would like an artisan roll of toilet paper or paper towels, let me know and I’ll customize a roll for you.

To help support an unemployed blogger, visit my store at http://stores.ebay.com/Retrends-by-Dee

Read Full Post »

Did Someone Really Make Me Eat That

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on January 10, 2014| 16 Comments »


I was flipping through some old family recipes and came across the old opossum recipe. I should’ve offered to cook Christmas dinner.

It starts with – “the opossum is a particularly fatty animal with a peculiar flavor.” And why do we have a recipe for peculiarly flavored animals?  If it doesn’t taste like chicken, I don’t want to know about it.

“It is dressed much as one would a suckling pig…” The language strikes me as a little formal. You think if we were smart enough to use such language we would have been smart enough to avoid roadkill. Perhaps I think too much. 

“Soak overnight, stuff with opossum stuffing, ….” Opossum stuffing? Hum, recipe not on this page. Now I’m intrigued.  Flipping to stuffings.  Past moose, reindeer, here stuffings right after squirrel.

We have apple stuffing, celery stuffing, chili, mushroom, onion, oyster, raisin, sage, sausage. Ah yes Opossum Stuffing. Contents onion, breadcrumbs, red pepper, hard cooked egg, fat, (I like a woman who can tell it like it is.) and opossum liver,  of course.

As I sit here having a good laugh, it occurs to me.  You guys never made me eat any of this stuff, right? Oh God, that’s going to add to my therapy bill.

Read Full Post »

Just Call Me Cherry Pie

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2013| 10 Comments »


Ugh, I have a rip roaring headache. Too much sugar I think. See Cherry Pie tweet. I don’t know why I capitalized cherry pie, except it’s so super awesome it needs to be a formal noun.

(Mental note: Add Cherry Pie to list of possible baby names for a girl.)

Or I could have a headache from inhaling fumes all day. I was working with inks and some household stuff to create ink art. I don’t know if you can call inking a painting since inks are normally used for drawing. But if you paint with ink, it can’t be a drawing, right? Or maybe my headache is from thinking too much.

I’m going to attempt to post one of the pictures I worked on today. That is if my brain cells don’t pop before I figure out how.

Oh, look there’s a button at the top of the page with “Insert Photo” written on it. I’ll try that first.

 

Things That Eat Things That Go Bump in the Night

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »