Posted in art, entertainment, fantasy, humor, life, Personal, photography, sarcasm, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged fantasy on July 27, 2016| 5 Comments »
Posted in animals, art, comedian, comic, dog, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, love, Personal, photography, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, writer, Writing on July 26, 2016| 25 Comments »
Posted in art, comedian, comic, humor, life, photography, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, Writing on July 25, 2016| 20 Comments »
I was thinking about books and movies that would have been less interesting with just a twist of the name
Posted in art, comedian, comic, entertainment, humor, life, photography, Uncategorized, tagged funny on July 22, 2016| 13 Comments »
Posted in art, entertainment, family, humor, life, love, Personal, photography, sarcasm, sister, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged family on July 20, 2016| 14 Comments »
Posted in Uncategorized on July 18, 2016| 48 Comments »
“I want you to sit in on this conference call,” my boss said on my first day. “You don’t need to say anything just listen.”
Famous last words.
“I’m John,” my fellow coworker introduced himself as he dialed the conference number. “It’s just going to be you and me in here.” He continued.
The meeting started pleasant enough and then storm clouds began gathering on the horizon. (Figuratively, not literally.)
“Are you stupid?” a voice on the other end of the phone yelled at John, as he tried to explain the system limitations for the third time.
“The constraints of the hardware won’t allow for …” John said, before he was interrupted yet again.
“I don’t care about the hardware constraints, you idiot. Just make it work. I have no problem coming over there in person. … You are going to do it my way. If you weren’t such a stupid moron …”
After several minutes of this tirade, John quietly closed his computer, got up and walked out, leaving me sitting alone with the still screaming voice on the other end of the phone.
The yelling continued for another five minutes when the voice said, “Do you understand me, John?”
I took the phone off of mute. What should I say?
“Hi. My name’s Deidra. John had to leave a while ago. Something must have come up.”
Silence.
“It’s my first day, so I can’t really answer any questions. Do you need me to give John any messages?”
More silence.
“Okay, then well I look forward to working with you all. I guess the meeting is adjourned.”
I returned to my desk thinking, I am not in Kansas anymore Toto and the house missed the wicked witch of the west this time.
Posted in art, comedian, comic, humor, life, love, photography, Uncategorized, tagged funny on July 15, 2016| 31 Comments »
Posted in anxiety, art, books, depression, entertainment, fantasy, Fantasy/Scifi, Fiction, free, life, literature, love, mental health, Personal, photography, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged compulsions on July 14, 2016| 51 Comments »
I love paper – old books, pretty patterns, and foreign magazines. I rescue broken books and posters from the garbage heap. And then they’re all just here and I don’t do anything with them. Tonight I have the urge to rip them all apart; keep the best parts; shuffle them around; and bind them back together, making something different.
It’s this souped up hyper feeling and all I can think about is tearing into these books. It’s an itch you can’t scratch. Why can’t I get some obsessive urge to do something positive? Will I spend the next three days ripping up books to find myself surrounded by piles of paper?
Already I know this feeling will be followed by a round of anxiety and then exhausted depression. That part I’m afraid of. If I knew I would wind up with something; a great novel, a painting, or some break through research, I would plunge ahead, depression be damned.
Maybe just tonight under the cover of darkness I’ll free some pages from their old bindings. I’ll take my medicine and in the morning I’ll try to redirect myself in a positive direction.
Posted in animals, art, comedian, entertainment, humor, life, photography, sarcasm, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged animals on July 13, 2016| 12 Comments »
Posted in anxiety, art, comedian, entertainment, family, humor, life, Personal, photography, sarcasm, television, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged funny on July 11, 2016| 54 Comments »
My sister was tired of expensive cable bills, so she cancelled her cable.
Of course a cable company representative called to try and entice her back with a special offer. He asked, “I see you cancelled your cable service. May I ask why?”
I’m sure he expecting some reply like, ‘It’s too expensive’ or maybe ‘I don’t really watch it that much’.
Did my sister say one of these canned replies? No.
She said, “I canceled cable to get the devil out of my life.”
The voice on the other end of the phone was silent. That’s right, try to find a special offer for demonic possession. That story surely became call center legend.
Deidra Alexander's Blog 