Posted in animals, art, comedian, comic, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fiction, humor, life, Personal, photography, sarcasm, Uncategorized, writer, Writing on September 27, 2016| 2 Comments »
Posted in art, books, children, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fantasy/Scifi, Fiction, flash fiction, life, literature, Personal, photography, sarcasm, sister, writer, Writing, tagged author, comedian, comedy, family. job, funny, humor, humour, job, laugh, life, writer, writing on September 26, 2016| 7 Comments »
When I was a kid, I had an idea that all worlds were a combination of science and magic. My idea was that magical teams were dispatched to worlds where the magic was out of balance. Only family members could combine and magnify each other’s magic, so these SWAT teams would be composed of people from the same family.
I waited for a mystical vortex to open and a stranger to explain, “You are in the wrong world we need to take you to the magical realm where you belong.” However, much to my great disappointment, it never happened so I still reside in this world almost devoid of magical energy. This is based on the same idea when the Liza and her sisters got their first assignment.
The tapestry shimmered before Liza, a brilliant orange and red with a shimmer of royal blue. It was taking the shape of an egg, more accurately an egg-shaped box. Five more stitches to go.
Her fingers moved slowly, pulling at the threads of magick around her. Liza tore through the tangle of fibers she had gathered, pulling a bright crimson thread. She eased it free, careful not to snap it.
Magick appeared differently to different people. To her it was threads to be woven into a tapestry. She was a spell weaver after all.
She began to weave.
One. Two. Three. Almost there.
She would use the magick to gather spare matter and transform it into another form.
A box lined with crystaline. Jerl needed one to keep his newly acquired dragon egg. Her younger cousin was an animage. His powers were uncanny. In fact, their abilities were all unusually powerful.
Four, one more stitch.
Some said it was in their blood. She thought most people said that out of sympathy, knowing their family history. She had always thought it was the shared trauma of the Midsummer’s day. None of them had escaped unscathed. A few of them wore their scars on the outside. All on the inside, more easily hidden, but perhaps more troubling.
Five and the knot.
The door slammed against the wall. Aelese rushed in, waving a parchment above her head.
“It’s here.” She gulped, gasping for air as she collided with a chair.
The carefully woven tapestry, hours of work, collapsed into a pile of sparks slowly extinguishing like the last coals in the ashes of a dying fire.
Posted in art, comedian, comic, humor, life, photography, Uncategorized, tagged funny on September 23, 2016| 26 Comments »
Posted in art, books, chick lit, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fantasy/Scifi, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, romance, sarcasm, short story, writer, Writing, tagged fantasy on September 22, 2016| 12 Comments »
Imagine a world where the undead exist and you hope one side or the other will pick you to join them. What if the wrong side picked you?
Barb lay faced down on the pavement. Her warm blood flowing away from her like a river, carrying with it her life. She was helpless to do anything but watch. With a last shuttering gasp, blackness enveloped her.
…
“Hey lady, you okay?”
The smell of vomit and cheap liquor stung her nose. She gagged. Perhaps Barb had cheated death after all. She pulled herself up. The ugly gaping wound was still there. She could clearly see intestines, but there was no blood. Not a drop.
Her heart wasn’t beating. She wasn’t breathing.
“Oh geeze, not undead. Anything but zombie. This is certainly going to put a damper on my sex life. And the whole flesh eating things. I’m a vegetarian for gosh sakes. This isn’t going to work for me,” she yelled at no one in particular.
Posted in animals, art, comedian, entertainment, humor, life, love, Personal, sarcasm, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged animals on September 21, 2016| 6 Comments »
Posted in animals, art, comedian, comic, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fiction, humor, life, Personal, photography, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, writer, Writing on September 20, 2016| 2 Comments »
Posted in animals, art, comedian, comic, entertainment, family, fantasy, Fantasy/Scifi, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, photography, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged author, comedian, comedy, family. job, funny, humor, humour, job, laugh, life, writer, writing on September 19, 2016| 57 Comments »
I hate it when I’m working late at night. All’s quiet and dark, when my cursor starts moving across the screen like the pointer on a Ouija Board. It scares the crap out of me. I’m like, “Grandma?”
Posted in art, entertainment, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, photography, sarcasm, short story, Uncategorized, writer, Writing, tagged Short story on September 17, 2016| 8 Comments »
“I can’t believe she wants us in at six. It’s one in the morning,” I’m complaining to the rest of my team members on the verge of another meltdown.
“I’m exhausted,” another of my team members, Kevin confesses.
We pile into the waiting taxi, a minivan that can hold us all.
“We’re in Paris and we haven’t seen anything that isn’t between the hotel and the office.” Sarah agrees, sounding as frustrated as I feel.
The van pulls to a stop in front of the hotel.
“We just have to hold it together for just two more weeks,” says Kyle, our 6’2” cheerleader, trying to rally us as he opens the van door.
I climb out of the van.
“We’ve been working like this for six weeks. I can’t think anymore,” I say, yelling at the rest of the team on the verge of another meltdown.
Kyle grabs the back of my head and shoves my face into his armpit.
“What are you doing?” I ask or maybe scream, smacking him with my ineffectual fists.
“Calming you down. Male musk has a calming effect on females.”
“Do I seem calm?” I’m still struggling to extract my head from his armpit.
“If you would just let biology work,” he says, finally releasing my head.
“I’m going to let anatomy work if you ever do that again.”
Posted in art, comedian, comic, humor, life, photography, Uncategorized, tagged funny on September 16, 2016| 21 Comments »
Posted in art, books, comedian, comic, entertainment, fantasy, Fiction, flash fiction, humor, life, literature, Personal, photography, sarcasm, short story, writer, Writing, tagged minds eye on September 15, 2016| 13 Comments »
Top 7 Reasons the Mayan calendar ended in 2012
Because the author’s chisel broke.
Because the author accrued a lot of vacation.
Because someone got carpal tunnel syndrome.
Because an overachiever got really far ahead.
Because they ran out of flat rocks.
Because the dirty English came with their chicken pox.
The great Mayan calendar maker’s strike of the 5th century B.C.
Deidra Alexander's Blog 