I got a call the other night from a fan of the previous owner of my phone number, AKA a John. He was looking for Raxxxxl. Gentlemen, someone out there’s imitating men, giving you guys a bad name.
The conversation went something like this –
“Hello, what’s your hourly rate?”
“Excuse me?” (It was after all the middle of the night.)
“Are you still open?”
“This isn’t who you think it is. She changed her number a long time ago.”
“How much do you charge?”
“What? No, I didn’t take over the business, I got this number from <insert telephone company name here>.”
“Oh, okay. What are you wearing?”
“Really?”
“Are you busy?”
My imagined reply –
“Getting ready to ask some strange guy over who just called for late night sex. I’m at <insert address of older brother>. Ask for me, his baby sister.”
No wait. I’ll give him my address. This post could be rename to How to Meet a Serial Killer. Gotta run, I need to sharpen my axe before he gets here.
hahaha, well, you’ve gotta give that guy points for persistence š ANd hey! It gave you a post for your blog š
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Oh, I do enjoy your posts, Deidra!
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What are you doing tonight?
Burying the bodies of the last 3 guys that called ~ how are you with a shovel?
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I miss the days when you could pack a body in a trunk, take it to the airport and fly to some exotic dumping ground. A good reason to hate airport security.
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Kinda amusing! But I have a warped sense of humor. Don’t mind me… š
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I once answered the phone to a woman who first demanded to know if ‘Mark’ was there. I had a migraine so instead of telling her she must have the wrong number, I just said no. She then reeled off a number and asked if that was the one she’d dialled. Through the fug, it sounded familiar so I said yes. ‘And do you live there?’ she said, sounding a bit edgy. ‘Yes’, I said. ‘Well you bloody well shouldn’t!’ she yelled, and hung up. Poor Mark, if you’re out there, I’m truly sorry!
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Sounds like Mark’s in big trouble.
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Sharpen that axe! š
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OMG’sh – laughing!
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OK, ready? Lizzie Borden gave her mother 40 whacks..aww hell, you know the rest..Umm, just clean all of your DNA. š
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And when she was done gave her father 41.
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Yep she did, BUT acquitted of the dastardly deed. Died in Montana, I believe.
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You should name your price, then make sure he pays up front before you off him.
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omgoodness hahaha I would die!
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Hehee, crazy man!
Funny though. š
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This sounds like the start of a very weird novel, or possibly snuff film.
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Oh noooooooooooooo
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Damn that has to be annoying. if you contat your network provider they can changge yournumber for you. i usd to work for one the first one is usualy free
might be something to look into
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I suppose, all things considered, it’s slightly better than having an old prostitute’s phone number….
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Oh my….
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Rofl.
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Oh this is hilarious. Love your response.
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Ha, ha. I once changed phone numbers and started getting weird calls, too. My favorite was “John, the bus driver” – he really was a very nice gentleman and was disappointed that the young lady who gave him “her” number as she exited the bus was not, in fact, me.
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oh my god! I don’t know if I should laugh or shake my head hahaha.
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Delightful and amazingly humorous!
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Pretty good blog material. Oh, and I apologize. It won’t happen again.
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Oh no!! Do you get these calls often??
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.hahahaha… šš So what are you wearing? š
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Just kidding but it really made me laugh :š thanks for posting this
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