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Archive for February, 2014


What could I possibly write about everyday? There’s only so much of the Pistol anyone can take. Someone said she created her photo album pages using everyday cues, For instance, she looked at her coffee and create pages involving coffee.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to write about coffee. I don’t drink coffee.

But my Mom did. She was an artist and drank 15 to 20 cups a day while she was painting. One day, I noticed she rinsed her paintbrushes in her coffee instead of the water.

“Deedeeann,” she called, (That’s me.) “make me coffee, please.”

On my way to the kitchen it struck me. Did she like the taste of the cream or the color of the coffee? So began my experiments.

First, I tried flour. Did she notice any difference? No.

Baking soda? No.

Baking powder? No.

Ice cream? Well maybe, she asked me to make another cup. Not really my goal.

If I wanted to get out of being the sole coffeemaker, I would have to take drastic action. Mayonnaise.

I was out of the rotation for several months until she forgot and then the experiments started anew.

I don’t know where the Pistol gets it.

 

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The Pistol Hiking Last Fall

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I invited myself over to my sister’s house. I still don’t have heat, so I was seeking some warmth.

The Pistol has a brother in high school, who is himself a bit of a pistol. We were watching TV when an erectile dysfunction commercial came on.

Older Brother asked, “Pistol, do you know what erectile dysfunction is?”

Pistol’s Mom, “Stop it.”

Pistol replied, “Yeah.”

Pistol’s Mom was rendered speechless and full of dread.

Pistol continued, “It’s when your reptile has a big problem.”

Older Brother, “Well, not quite.”

Mom regained consciousness, “SHUT UP!”

And so the Pistol missed a bit of knowledge from his older brother.

Of course I just laughed hysterically through the whole thing, chanting tell him, tell him. I was escorted off of the premises again.

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