Posts Tagged ‘culture’

I was going to tell you how I made my vampire boss my best friend. (If you’re new to my blog check out More Fun with┬áBosses to find out more about my vampire boss. Real person, not kidding.)

My vampire boss made men’s blood run cold. If you could hear the click, click, click of her high heels coming, someone was going to get his/her throat ripped out. One day I knew that click, click, click was coming for me.

I waited a little apprehensive. No one likes to have their throat ripped out. I made a vow to myself as she ripped around the corner. Either we were going to be friends after this or she would leave parading my head on a stick.

With her face screwed up like a demon about to unleash it’s venom, she opened her mouth.

Holding up my hand, palm facing her, I said, “Stop. I know you have a problem and I am here to help you, but first you have to wipe that expression off your face and calm yourself done.”

After that, she was my best friend. She would even run out and bring my lunch back if I was busy. Of course I’d ask her to, her and the CIO. He brought me lunch several times too. Hey no problem asking.


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I’ve had a couple of bosses who were able to appreciate my sense of humor.

I was working on a project with about 75 people, 60 of whom were vegetarians. We were working particularly late one night, so a manager, lets call him Randall, ordered pizzas for everyone.

When the smell of Italian seasoning and bread filled my cube, I meandered on down to the conference room of delicious goodness.

The table was loaded with pizza of every description: salami, sausage, pepperoni, and so on. Until we got to the last two pizzas which were vegetarian. I stood there by Randall observing the luscious display.

I said, “Next time you should get more vegetarian. You know almost everyone’s a vegetarian.”

He said, “I did.”

“I only see two.”

“There’s those mushroom, onion, and bacon pizzas.”

I waited.

“Oh crap, bacon.You must think I’m an idiot.”

“No, I prefer special.”

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