Deidra Alexander's Blog

Since I won’t be able to poste tomorrow, I thought I should write this early.  Remember DC hears the voice of the universe through the toilet. Now if you seriously hear the voice of the universe through your toilet, you can’t really use it for its intended purpose. So now, poor DC is a regular visitor at the corner gas station. I imagine his visits might go something like this —

“Hey, Bubba.”

“Hey, DC,” the man behind the counter said, without looking up from his newspaper.

“Brought my own,” I said, waving a roll of TP, a long stream threading the air after me.

“Good boy. Weathers good today,” Bubba continued, with his soft southern drawl.

“Hey, do you have any red rhino?” It was my favorite power drink.

“Got a shipment last week.”

“Can I get a case?” I yelled from the men’s room, flushing the toilet.

“Sure. Planning a road trip?”

“Yep.”

“Voice of the Universe?”

“Yep.”

“Beef jerky, you need beef jerky for a road trip,” he stated more than asked, as I came to the counter case of red rhino in hand.

“No… Yes… No… Twelve Slim Jims.” I finally decided.

“Good choice.” Bubba loaded the beef jerky into a plastic bag. “Get the details before you leave,” he yelled, as I was leaving his face back in the paper.

“What?”

“Get all the details from your toilet. You never know when you’ll find one that resonates with the right frequency and wavelength. So get all the details before you leave.”

“Oh, yea thanks.” I started out the door. “How …?”

“You think you’re the only one who’s ever heard the Voice of the Universe.”

“No, I guess not.”