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Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Vacations and Chitlens

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2012| 8 Comments »


I’m going to New Orleans. One of my friends is going too, but she taking her husband and children.
To my friend, if I see you coming towards me and cross the street, it’s not that I don’t love you.  I’m just pretending I don’t know you.

Image from cafebojangles.com

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World Leader

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on August 26, 2012| 21 Comments »


Someone told me I have the ass that can rule the world. I thought about it, but there are already enough asses ruling the world.

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Country Folks

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2012| 12 Comments »


How country are you? Do you carry a pocket knife? Do you say it’s for cuttin’ limes, because that makes you sound high class?

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Immigration

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2012| 24 Comments »


Illegal immigration isn’t new, Native Americans called it white people.

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Sisters

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on August 5, 2012| 10 Comments »


I don’t need bizarre thoughts, I have sisters. They each agree one of them is crazy. What they don’t seem to get is they’re twins. They’re both crazy.

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Lizzie Borden

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 29, 2012| 25 Comments »


I taught my four year old neice, Elizabeth to sing Lizzie Borden. It’s really creepy when sung with such a sweet voice. Why won’t my sister let me babysit anymore?

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Rainy Days

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2012| 9 Comments »


If your feeling hate and disdain, take it somewhere else. I’m raining on this parade.

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Borrowing Crazy

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 15, 2012| 25 Comments »


I reuse aluminum foil and paper towels. My friends keep telling me you didn’t go through the great depression like your grandmother.

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Eyes in the Back of Her Head

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2012| 20 Comments »


Someone asked for my God given name.

I said, “I didn’t know my mother was God?”

That explains things like the eyes in the back of her head.

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Voodoo Crafting

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2012| 25 Comments »


I’m doing research for a book that’s set in New Orleans.

While I was there, I wanted to find a voodoo shop. I went into several. One in particular seemed more authentic, since they weren’t selling ‘I got too drunk in New Orleans’ t-shirts next to the voodoo dolls.

They had a variety of stuff I imagine to be reminiscent of such a place: potions, herbs, candles, and dolls of course. In the back, they gave readings. Then I found the one thing the cinched it for me. A voodoo pencil, decorated with paint and fabric to look like a voodoo doll.

Leave it to me to find the Martha Stewart of Voodoo Priestesses.

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