Yes, I’m still stuck on Christmas. I think I have enough posts to stretch this out to Valentine’s Day, but I’ll spare you.

I hate to be a Scrooge so this is my last Christmas related post.

Things I dislike, intensely about Christmas.

Stores so crowded you have hair in your mouth and it isn’t yours.

Christmas gifts that are chores.

Relatives who sign people up for dating services. That isn’t a gift even if you filled out the questionnaire and created the profile.

Anything of the month, except alcohol and chocolate.

-10 degrees. I don’t care of it’s fahrenheit or celcius. I don’t like it.

Rumors I didn’t start.

Things I love about Christmas.

Rumors I started.

Laughing until you cry because your sisters are so stupid funny.

The faces of little children Christmas morning.

The crunch of snow and the silence of a bitter cold night.

Reliving your childhood with your siblings and cousins.

Snowball fights, sled rides, horses, falling into snow drifts so deep you need help getting out.

Roaring fires, hot chocolate, knowing looks when your crazy elders speak their ‘wisdom’.

Your crazy elders you hope will live forever, but know won’t.

And yes, maybe even the tree you were given. That’s where I’ll be the rest of the day, the six hour journey to get the tree. Hopefully it produces apples of gold, real not gold plated.

And one more thing, remember the Writer’s Digest’s Best Websites Contest. If you read a blog and think, Wow she’s really funny, ignore her and remember me. Instructions provided purely as a public service.

1. Send brief email to writersdigest@fwmedia.com (click now)

2. Put 101 Best Websites Nominations in subject line. (cut and paste now)

3. As an example include some kind of note like

Please consider Deidra Alexander’s Blog at www.deidraalexander.com for your list of 101 Best Website. (copy and paste optional. )

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First, I’ve released my blog for Kindle in which I will include extra humiliate of myself and family in an effort to get my furnace fixed.

First and foremost, the goals is to make those pesky onesies wish they were twosies. Here are some tried and true methods to aid in that quest.

If your singles are resistant to the process, remind them of how happy it would make their dearly departed parent, grandparent, Aunt and/or pet.

You’ll need to take special care with your females. Remember they aren’t getting any younger. Force them to cook a dish which you can push onto eligible males. Note: Have an exact duplicate ready to switch in the event hers turns out tasting like paste and well you know it will.

Counsel females on allowing their male counterparts to win all games, not singing carols with her Porky Pig voice, and using restrain when throwing snowballs, not that it will help.

You must unload your unattached relatives on every eligible member of the opposite sex, including second cousins as they are still legal in some states. Don’t forget to push your male relatives’ careers or sensitivity, which ever is more applicable. And finally if your female relative is owning property, be sure to point that out to all candidates and their Mommas. Nothing helps like a good, old-fashioned dowry.

(Picture to be added later.)

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