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Day 5 of the writing challenge is to write a story about a road trip, fact or fiction, with dialogue as if it’s happening.

The sky was so gray it seemed the sun would never shine again. It match the biting cold. This was the last factory on my schedule. Once I checked in with these guys, I could go home for Christmas. I was eager to get to finish my review and get some shopping done. It wasn’t everyday I was working in the south of France, so champagne, chocolate and china were top on my list.

What wasn’t top on my list the crawling pace of the traffic ahead of me. A few hours outside of Paris and everything had come to a virtual standstill.  I was just outside of a small village, a one horse town. Since it was France, maybe a one snail town was more appropriate especially considering the pace. I could have walked faster then we were driving.

I have to say that little silver rental car had one heck of a heater. It wasn’t long before I had to crack the window. I waited semi-patiently my thumb tapping on the steering wheel to the tune on the radio. I heard something strange. Horns, maybe a tuba? It certainly wasn’t in keeping with the French version of pop music playing on the radio.

I turned the radio off, rolled the window down and listened. Drums. Cymbals. It was definitely music. As we crept up to the edge of town, the ten or so shops which made up the business district were decked with tinsel and bells.  People lined the streets mostly women and children bundled against the cold. Some cameras flashed.

What was going on?

I leaned out of the window to catch a glimpse of the traffic ahead as the road curved to the left. Ahead of me I glimpsed a marching band, a fire truck and several fancy cars. That’s when I realized I was in the middle of the town’s Christmas parade.

I smiled and waved as people snapped my picture. Later they probably asked each other, “Who was that woman in the silver car?”

I like to thing the reply was, “A visiting dignitary, of course.”

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Day 4 – Review a book. I think this challenge is aimed at bloggers, not fiction writers. These prompts are demonstrating where to get material to write blog posts when you don’t have any materials. This isn’t usually the kind of thing I post. I usually post stories about life, work and my twisted family.

I did a book review earlier in the week, so instead I’m looking at weird gadgets on Amazon. If you are actually interested in purchasing the item, the product names link back to the product pages.

First up, the LED Flashlight Multipurpose Glove. Yes, a flashlight glove.

 

Next, the Glow Toilet. Need I say more?

How about the Folding Credit Card Knife Pocket Knife? Because even a city slicker runs across the occasional roadkill.

I didn’t say they were to top selling items.

I saw this Endoscope Camera Phone Thingie and thought, “Wow, back up with that thing, Cowboy. No scoping anything over here.”

Review Spy Sunglasses  I’m going to have to try to find some girl weirdness, because I seem to be heavy on the guy weirdness. But, if you’re a spy and you’re looking for replacement glasses there are for you. James Bond move over.

  

I know I promise some girl stuff, but Liquid Ass is just too good to pass up. I might need to buy some of this for my nephew, The Pistol.

 

This is the Lightning Shocker Game. The slow guy in the group gets the living crap zapped out of him. Great for slower or unsuspecting siblings. I might need one of these myself.

Ok, I actually like this one a lot, the Gadget Carrying Case.

For some reason all the stupid girl gadgets look extremely useful to me. If could be because I’m a girl.

The Banana Hook, okay I’m trying.

The Hand Warmer, once again, infinitely useful.

 

Got One!! A Pink Gun Wine Bottle Opener  If you’re from the south, that’s an accessory you don’t want to be without. I should know since I just put one in my shopping cart.

Stone Fairy House, which looks like a box of rocks to me. Let me know if you’re interested in this one, because I’ve got a box of rocks to sell you.

Just one more, I need this one. Army Guy Bottle Opener. I’ve always been a sucker for a guy in uniform. Add wine and I’m all in. Go Joe.

If you like gadget posts, let me know.

 

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Today’s writing challenge – Find a news article, read and then write your own take on it. It also mentioned something about journalists being impartial.

By now both you and I know I spend more time writing about the writing prompt then actually writing what the prompt says. On my blog I don’t write about controversial topics. I don’t write about politics, religion, or world events. Mainly because as weird as my humor is, my views are weirder.

Journalists impartial, that’s a laugh. Every article I read was an opinion piece. I doubt journalist about as much as I doubt bankers and politicians. Attorneys have dropped to four in my doubtful people list. Good news for attorneys I suppose.

I decided to stay relatively safe and write about science. (Though I don’t know why they had to demote Pluto, the planet, not the dog. They may have demoted the dog too. But that might be controversial, I don’t know what Pluto has been up to since I was a kid. He and I haven’t kept in touch.)

I looked through several studies and found something curious. Scientists read a bunch of other studies and then write a study of their opinion of the other studies. Back when I was in school that was called a book report. I know I’m going back to grade school, but I remember having to develop a theory, run experiments, record observations and then write the results. I didn’t know I could watch Jo Ann’s experiment. Her father was a NASA engineer. She could run through some science let me tell you. If I had read her report and written one about her’s, I would have gotten a much better grade. But for some reason my teacher called that cheating.

Someone needs to have a talk with my teacher. It turns out it wasn’t cheating, it was science and I was a genius ahead of my time.  Maybe I should become a scientist, I was good at writing book reports. Oh wait, that’s writing again, which is why I’m doing the writing challenge in the first place. Catch twenty-two.

Maybe I’ll start a political blog for my bizarre views. I’m not a Republican or Democrat. I’m an equal opportunity hater. Oh wait, another blog. That means more writing. Crap. I’m going in circles.

Why do all of my ideas involve more writing? Maybe that’s tomorrow’s writing prompt.

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