Do you ever have thoughts that you wish you didn’t have? Like maybe this one.
In my imagination, I’m hanging out with a couple of friends. We’ve been drinking wine, laughing, and listening to music.
When someone says, “I found this old porn in my Mom’s closet. It’s so bad, it’s hysterical.”
She puts it on. The hair is plastered with hair spray and way too tall. You all laugh.
A guys come on screen and someone says, “Hey he’s not bad looking.”
“Yeah,” you agree, “he actually pretty hot.”
Another friend with a fist full of popcorn says, “That looks like your Dad.”
“No,” you insist shocked and a bit disgusted, “that guy is hot. I’d go out with him. He doesn’t look anything like my Dad.”
One of your other friends chimes in, “He really does look like your Dad around the eyes and that nose.”
Then he does something so quintessentially “your” Dad and you know that IS your Dad. You’re watching a porn starring your Dad.
The screams of horror are echoing through my head as I type.
So you’re pissed because you have to live with that image for the rest of your life and you want to confront your Dad, but you’re not sure how that’s going to work.
You start the conversation with something like, “What the H-E- double toothpicks is wrong with you? A porn?”
“You’ve been watching porn,” your Dad counters.
“You were in it.”
Your Mom interrupts, “Do not yell at your Father.”
“Mom, did you know Dad was in a porn?”
And she replies, “Well yes, dear that’s how we met.”
And that’s why I try not to think.
I just love your stories. Yotaki Beautywalk
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Hi Yotaki,
Thank you. You’re my awesome encouragement.
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I’ve thought of a lot of things, but… LOL. Great story, though. 🙂
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Hi Mary,
I know right. Where does this stuff come from?
Thanks.
Dee
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What discrimination!!! It is ok for the mom to be in the porn flick, but not for the dad… hmmph!!!
😀 Outré, but nice 🙂
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I prefer not to see either. My Mom was an artist and painted herself in the nude, another thing I would prefer not to have seen.
Thanks for stopping by.
Dee
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Was not stopping by, you were on my “follow” list. But thank you for your kind reply. Will not “stop by” again since it seems to have offended you. Thank you.
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No, you haven’t offended me in anyway. I apologize if I’ve given you that impression. Would love to have you as a regular guest.
Thanks.
Dee
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As a regular pest you mean 🙂 Thank you..
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Nahh, I haven’t had any pests yet.
Thanks.
Dee
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LOL, that would be so horrible!!!
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Hi Eliza,
Would it ever. But you know someone’s parents did it.
Thanks.
Dee
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Was Ron Jeremy the Best Man?
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Hi Tom,
Not sure who he is and afraid to google him. But I’ll go with, sure.
Thanks for the comment.
Dee
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No way. LOL!
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Keep humming it will go away…maybe.
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You liked my post, so I popped on over to read one of yours. Your dad in a porn? No, that’s just so wrong. Good money though. Sorry. Half of my best chess set got damaged on the barbecue and I’ve been looking for pawn on the internet ever since.
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Great bit of a Saturday morning read… wonder why I’m getting a tad het-up?? 😈
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I love the ending of this post. I actually laughed. Totally perfect end note.
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I read this at the start of my work day. Thanks for the laugh. Great way to start the day. 🙂
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Brilliant, despite the cringe worthy images I have to carry around in my head now.
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OMG! This is beautiful and hilarious. And I’m right there with you. Some of the things my mind comes up with is absolutely terrifying! lol As a like minded person, I felt you deserved a nomination for the Sunshine Blogger Award…so I am!! 🙂
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😁 no worry of my parents, they’re way to ugly 😄
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I am just relieved that some of my giant fails at parties from long ago did not become ensconced on the internet. They inevitably involved me doing something awful to a commode (for some reason using that word, rather than toilet makes it seem less awful)…
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My apologies – I didn’t mean to offend….
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No offense. The first time someone comments, I have it set so that I have to approve the first comment, so I can catch spammers, Thanks. Dee
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I took one little porn mag from the middle of a really tall stack and he knew the next day. Porn people just know things…
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[…] If Your Dad Was In a Porn […]
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I found this hysterical and quite amusing! Xp
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I think my eyes would never stop bleeding. 😦
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I would die. I wouldn’t even ask my dad.
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It could have ended with a “where do you think you were made?” and them bringing up a scrapbook with the cover of the tape, with a witty name like “Truckers like big trunks” or something of the sort
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It’s 4.35 am and I’m rolling out of bed laughing. Thanking you! 😄
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That’s the oldest story in the book…
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This is hilarious! I loved it! Damn, this is awesome.
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I would die! lol hilarious though…. LMAO
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That’s the way to start the day with a chuckle. Nicely done.
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Thanks for following my blog. I’m finding your stuff very interesting, and amusing–the perfect escape for a Friday afternoon when I should be writing, not reading!
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AH! I can’t even think about this!:D
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Get your parents to talking and you find out they weren’t always so parenty!
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Fun stories!
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