April
Uncertainty
April 1
I was cleaning off my desk. I wanted everything to be ready, just in case. There was a pile of self help books. All designed to help you figure out what you really want to do. I keep starting them, then tossing them aside. I’m not sure I ever really performed the exercises or answered the profound questions. Why do you need so many books to answer one simple question – “what should you do with your life”? I set them aside. Possible lymphoma the doctor had said. Perhaps, if she were right, I’d go through them during chemo.
I boxed up all my paints – oils, watercolors, pastels, stabilizers, thickeners, and brushes. I doubt I’ll be using them any time soon. Perhaps I should give them to some young artist, maybe the Allen boy. Art supplies are expensive and he’s in college. He’d appreciate them.
I found the paint set I got for my tenth birthday, tubes of acrylics in a little wooden box. There were plastic inserts used to mix the paints with just the right amount of water. I used these to create my first masterpiece of a horse, Old Billy, eating grass in front of the barn. The brushes are gone, the paints dried up and the plastic inserts have disintegrated, but I think I’ll keep them just the same.
I keep thinking about my mother, diagnosed with cancer at my age, dead two years later. But I don’t have to worry, I don’t have cancer.
I sorted through some old files and found sketches I’d made in high school. When I was young, I thought I’d be an artist, a painter. I’ve been painting and drawing for as long as I can remember. I don’t know what I’ll do with these old pictures, but I can’t throw them away.
When should I tell my family? My younger sister, Allie has depended on me since our parents died. I don’t want to worry her if it turns out to be nothing, but I don’t want to wait too long either. I just don’t want to worry anyone if I don’t have to.
For more in this story, select the Meet Me By the Gate tab at the top of the page.
Powerful
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Thank you. I was afraid the beginning might be too boring.
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I’m intrigued. Can’t wait to see what happens next.
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Thank you. The next installment is Tuesday and than pretty much daily after that.
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The possibility makes you reflect on your life. I know this all too well. Anyone you tell will worry more than you, so a definitive answer my be in order. Wishing you the best.
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Thanks. This is a work of fiction based very loosely on my experience many years ago. I’ll be posting daily updates until I’ve completed the “book”.
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Good work, very convincing. I’ll be on the lookout for each installment.
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Ha! I wrote a long comment after going through breast cancer, then saw Timothy’s response. I’m so relieved!
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It’s been many years since I was ill. Thank you for your concern.
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Good job.
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It’s interesting how previous experiences in our lives can evoke feelings and understandings of future happenings that are similar in nature. Without those past experiences your view of the current situation my be completely different. Not wanting any one to worry to the degree that you worried when your mother had gone through the same ordeal years before. I like this writing piece and hope to see more.
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I see the thread of how a past experience can shape your future responses. Your view is not only that of a sister but also as a mother. Having gone through such an experience and seeing your mother in it changes your perspective.The feelings of a mother and a sister all in one. I am exited to read more.
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Wow, I didn’t realize you read my blog. Thanks.
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Very intriguing!
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Thank you, I appreciate your comment. Dee
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This is such a universal fear. I look forward to more story. Gripping, but also chilling. ❤ ❤
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Thank you. I’m planning to blog the whole book. Dee
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Wow. Are you sure? Can you publish your book afterwards? ❤
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I already tried with the first three chapters and no one was interested so I decided to just post it on my blog. What the heck, right?
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It was a good read. Keep it up. And you can follow my blog if you want.
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Thanks for the comment. Dee
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What an excellent idea. Make all those publishes cry in their beer. I’m hooked and love the way you introduce yourself. You correctly call yourself a fiction writer. Me? I simply report that most of what I relate is a pack of lies, torn gleefully from a more than willing, over-full, brain. Can’t wait for the next chapter.
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Hi Jerrie,
Wow I love how you describe yourself. You rock, a writer after my own heart. I hope you’re right. I would like to think there’s a bar full of publishers and agents whose hearts I have broken. Dee
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I really enjoyed this installment. It drew me in within seconds. Now I have to go read the follow-ups 😀 Well done!
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Hi Kalieta,
Thank you for the nice comment. I’m glad you are enjoying these posts.
Dee
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I love the start of this, you’ve left me wanting more. I know how difficult it is to write something as heartwarming yet heartbreaking as this as I am an amateur fiction writer myself. I applaud you. Courtney
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Thanks Courtney. That makes two amateurs then. Dee
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Hehe, people in later instalments seem to think this is real life. Well done 😀 (This better not be real now….)
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Hi Josh,
Well …. it’s not real, based on real experience. Though I definitely didn’t do the things she gets into later. Thank you. Dee
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Hopefully you are through those rough times now 😀 you did a great job of it anyway
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Still working through some, but I keep scratching away. Thanks. Dee
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love your photographs, the style is gorgeous. the photographs and the writing both, a perfect match… ironic? no, of course not…. thanks
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Thank you very much for your comment. I appreciate it. You’re very kind.
Dee
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Good job, hope to see more of your work! 🙂
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment. Dee
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This is a great lead into your story! I think I have some catching up to do.
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Thank you. This story was turned down over 150 times, so I thought I would just publish it myself. Dee
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A fantastic piece of writing. Looking forward to future instalments.
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Touching and raises my curiosity.
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Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate the encouragement. Dee
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Thank you for the kind comment. I appreciate the encouragement. Dee
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Thank you. I appreciate the positive comment.
Dee
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This is beautiful. The way the issue of cancer sort of wraps around art and memories is so touching and really shows how every aspect of life can be affected by even the possibility of serious illness.
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Hi Tanya,
Thank you. You’re comments touched me. Deidra
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Hi Tanya,
Thank you. I didn’t want to recount the treatment but rather the way it affected my few of myself and my life.
Dee
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Man. This hits too close to home right now. Love and light.
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Hi Jani,
I’m sorry to hear that. This is in the distant past for me. I hope it gets better for you too soon. Lots of love, Dee
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It isn’t me, it’s my dad…but I am still working on how to tell my kids.
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Hi Jani,
Yeah, it’s tough. My Mom also had cancer and it isn’t easy to hear. You have my prayers.
Love,
Dee
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Hi Jani,
Sorry if you’re going through something similar. It’s been more than 5 years now, so I have much more distance.
Dee
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Thank you for the interest in my blog. I look forward to following yours and all the stories you are weaving.
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[…] Deidra @ Deidra Alexander’s Blog […]
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[…] via Installment 1: Meet Me By the Gate — Deidra Alexander’s Blog […]
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The picture goes really great with your writing! 🙂
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Well that sure drew me in.
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Phew! until I read the comments I thought this was happening to you…even so, a moving piece of writing…
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I forgot to say how upset I was that your protagonist gave up their art supplies (their creativity) when they were confronted by mortality. What better time to explore portals to other realities, through art, as you prepare to leave this one…
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[…] Source: Installment 1: Meet Me By the Gate […]
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I like your writing style. Easy and free-flowing 🙂
Thank you for following my blog during a time when I cannot help but repeat myself. I appreciate it!
Have a good day!
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thank you for sharing this- beautifully written
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[…] https://deidraalexander.com/2016/05/24/installment-1-meet-me-by-the-gate/ […]
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Lovely story.
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So well written! I couldn’t stop reading!
https://christysdiaryblog.wordpress.com/
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Amazing work , i love the overall feel of the story , very powerful , keep up the great work.
Ive been looking at writing a lot lately and was wondering if you have any tips to help develop my skills further ?
Dan
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Hi Dan,
I’ve never had anyone ask me about writing before. I’ll have to put some thought into it.
Thanks,
Dee
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The only words that matter are yours … I look forward to reading more… Eric.
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Just nominated you for an award, check out my blog
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This hits so close to home.
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reading this makes me glad im following your blog! youve left us all wanting more!
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