I have an idea for a story where the voice of the universe talks to a guy through his toilet. So what kind of guy would hear voices from the toilet —
I’m sitting here waiting in a cafe because the voice of the universe spoke to me through my toilet. I know, it sounds crazy.
My name? Now that’s a story. My father was a hippie. My mother was Native American, Comanche actually. When my mother was pregnant with me, they went to the medicine woman, who told them they must name me after the place where I would be born.
They planned to be in Phoenix, Arizona when I was born. I was going to be named Phoenix Arizona, kinda cool. Instead, when my Mom was seven months pregnant, they decided to go to a peace march in Washington. I was born in Washington, DC. So my name? It’s District of Columbia, District of Columbia Campbell or DC for short.
I’d like to think my parents were dropping acid, smoking a little too much ganja, or at least on a three day bender, but they say they were high on love.
She also told them I was twins, girls, but they didn’t think to ignore her just because she was wrong on number and sex. No, they followed her instructions to a T. I’d like to kick the ass of a medicine woman about now.
hahahaha DC. I love it. Still not sure I’m buying into the whole universe-talking-via-toilet thing, but I loved this as an opening to a story. Write it!
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Hi Sandy,
I don’t think anyone could buy into the talking toilet, but the characters are so funny when they are reacting to it.
Thanks.
Dee
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Voice of universe through toilet.
I can’t wait to see how the story turns out
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Ah, a toilet humor fan not unlike myself.
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Be great full they didn’t get stuck in Bumpass Va. It’s a real name, I just looked it up on a map lol. Thanks for checking out my blog. I’m flipping through yours and I think I will be visiting a lot. I like what I see so far
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Thanks. The feeling is mutual.
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Voice of the universe through his toilet … very creative or some really bad drugs …
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Couldn’t it be really good drugs?
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Very good point. That’s what makes you the fair-haired girl.
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I love the toilet idea!!
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You’re a person after my own heart.
Thanks.
Dee
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A person after my own heart.
Thanks.
Dee
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Wow that’s quite something. ‘Voice of the universe through the toilet’ would even be an awesome title 😉 I’d like to see where this is headed
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Thank you for your kind comment.
Dee
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I love this post. You should treat your ideas like gold. I would just start writing about it. Hey, people have epiphanies in the shower right? Shower god?? Hmmm
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Hmmm, interesting I had never consider my ideas gold. I’ll have to give that some thought.
Thanks.
Dee
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I would love to read more! DC’s voice is pitch perfect. 🙂
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Hi Jenn,
Thank you for your kind comment.
Dee
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This just made me chuckle, and at the same time really want to know more haha.
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Hi Michael,
There are a few other characters who keep popping up in my head now and then. I’ll have to consider working on this more.
Thanks.
Dee
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I would love to read more on it, or new characters. I love your style 🙂
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I want more!! This pulled me right on in.. Goodness
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Thank you. I thought it was rather silly.
Dee
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Not at all! I was ready to turn the page and dive into a nice read!
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I love this! The toilet talking is off beat and strange, which is why I love it!
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Hi Lisa,
Leave it to me to come up with the bizarre.
Dee
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I’m curious as to what the universe would have to say to such a man. Also, the toilet might be the most appropriate mouthpiece for the universe depending on your worldview.
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True that. I thought the voice might send him on missions. Twisted of course.
Thanks.
Dee
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All my toilet ever says is “clean me” Maybe if I kept it cleaner, I’d get better messages!
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Hi Jan,
That’s good point, though I was traveling in Australia, so was gone for four weeks. When I got back, let’s just say I felt more comfortable using the toilet in the gas station on the corner. Probably where the idea started.
Thanks.
Dee
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Haha I love the story. But it reminds me of all the sad people whose parents gave them stupid names (like Apple) 🙂
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Hi Kristina,
I have an idea for another character with a similarly weird name. Apple, I like that one. What if you had characters named Apple and Orange? As in you’re comparing Apple and Orange again.
Thanks,
Dee
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This sounds fun. I’d like to learn more about it. Did you ever jot the whole story down?
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It really came to me in scenes no coherent whole. Will have to give it more thought.
Thanks.
Dee
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You should always listen to a talking toilet of course, because it knows shit.
Cool idea btw.
He could also shorten his name to ‘Strict’. “I’m Strict, because my parents weren’t”.
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Ha, ha. Like the name. And of course a toilet would know shit. Too funny.
Thanks.
Dee
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You should always listen to a talking toilet of course, because it knows shit.
Cool idea btw.
He could also shorten his name to ‘Strict’. “I’m Strict, because my parents weren’t.”
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Reminds me of the Stephen King novel, Desperation. He wrote it under the Richard Bachmann pseudonym. If I remember right (doubtful, but play along), a kid who falls somewhere on the spectrum controls some super-powerful cars and demons, but whenever he has to take a dump he loses his powers. Would’ve been a tough query to write, but it became a 400-page book.
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Hi John,
That’s hysterical. I’m a great fan of the potty humor. I have the sophistication of a 13 year old boy.
Dee
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[…] via Voice of the Universe — Deidra Alexander’s Blog […]
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Thanks for the reblog.
Dee
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That’s hilarious–and brilliantly conceived and implemented.
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