Shapeless lumps of teeth and flesh surround me, clawing and biting at my arms. Their talons are careful not to tear the green, Grecian gown I wear. Together we rise slowly from the pit.
A great flash of light.
I drop to a crouch, hugging my knees to my chest. The creatures ignite falling in columns of ash around me.
I wake to blazing lights cutting across the sky, punctuated by a barrage of thunder. The storm rages outside and I am sweat drenched in bed.
If I could paint the images in my head. The cavernous hall, filled with sights and words I cannot banish. I try to chase the ravens from my window sill, but they always return wanting more.
And, they really don’t understand.
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No, unless you’ve experienced it, I think it’s difficult to understand. It doesn’t have outward symptoms.
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Very well written
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Thank you. When I write about my feelings, I want to express how it feels. I’m hoping by communicating these moments people who never experience depression and anxiety can understand a bit better.
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Evermore.
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Yes, Poe was perhaps a bit depressed too.
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I think so.
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I think you are right, John. Thanks for your comments.
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So true and trying to explain to those who don’t understand is more than frustrating. A little disheartening. Yotaki Beautywalk
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So true. It seems the closer the person is to you the more difficult for them to understand. Thank you.
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You are profound. You also sound a lot like my fiance. I think I’m going to refer this blog to her for regular reading, because what you’re talking about are things she’s always trying to describe to me that I don’t understand. Like describing clouds to the blind, as you say.
One thing I do understand – nobody wants to feel alone. Knowing there’s someone else with the exact same feelings might help her.
Thank you for being you.
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Thank you. I appreciate your lovely comments.
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Deidra, you are not alone. It’s awful bearing the sense of heaviness and exhaustion, of fog and fear, *all* the myriad possible parts that make up depression and anxiety. But many of us survive it and find ways to thrive—in part, because we find fellow denizens of the abyss who have made it out before us and can blaze the path, whether through telling their stories to each other as we do here, guiding each other through the tricks and techniques that help each of us, or simply say to each other: I get it. We all have our own versions of the struggles, and we know how hard it is to explain in ways that others can really comprehend, or to comprehend others’ explanations of their own versions. I hold you in my heart.
Kathryn
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Hi Kathryn,
Thank you for your kind words. Hearing others’ stories helps to dull the pain at least for me.
Best Regards,
Dee
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Walk boldly. Walk strong. Fight your demons fiercely.
Very well written. Beautiful use of metaphor.
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Hi Z.,
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have read these and several others many times when I feel my world has dropped out from under me.
Thank you.
Dee
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When the world drops, remember to spread your wings and ride the updraft. It seems an obvious act, but moments of great difficulty have a way of making us forget how to even tie our shoes.
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from my facebook: {
“In Feri tradition, we make commitments to the sacred earth, to our communities, to our practice, to work, the Gods, and to service. Our first commitment is to ourselves. None of the things on the list above will be truly served unless I am truly taking care of myself”
– T. Thorn Coyle
Have been studying the Earth/North chapter, “Birthing Our Wholeness” in Evolutionary Witchcraft intensively since a waiting room spell on Friday. I have had the book since I got it for myself on my birthday in 2007, but it made a particularly strong impression on me this time. April Blu, I mean to get to your long post at some point.
}
You may find much of the wisdom inside of interest
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Thank you for your kind words. I looked up the book you’re referencing and am getting a copy. Wishing you the best.
Dee
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Cool. Tx.
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I love this, the imagery you use is perfect. I can only imagine what it must be like. Stay strong
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Thank you. Your kind words are very encouraging.
Dee
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I love this post. The picture you’ve painted with your words is so vivid. Beautifully dark!
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Hi Kristina,
Thank you for your words. They have encouraged me to work on a longer work of fiction to see if I can capture the style.
Wishing you the best.
Dee
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Love this post
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Hi Rajiv,
Thank you for your kind comment.
Dee
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Great write. Dark and beautiful. Written with powerful images.
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Thank you for your encouragement. I’ve decided to try to capture this type of writing in a longer work.
Dee
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Good work. Kepp it up. It is always important that we challenge ourselves as writers.
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