“I can’t let little Billy chew gum. He keeps swallowing it,” one of my friends, Anna said picking through her cob salad, no bacon, no onions, no eggs, no cheese, no ham, no croutons, dressing on the side.
I know what’s left, right?
“That’s so unhealthy,” Barbara, another of my friends agreed. She was still moving her plain chicken breast and broccoli around her plate.
Tammy was eating a “hamburger” sans the bread, ketchup, mustard, mayo, pickles and cheese.
They were all on a diet of some sort: Anna low fat, Barbara low carb and Tammy paleo.
“You know it takes a month to digest,” Tammy said.
“I know,” Anna agreed.
Barbara nodded.
The waitress set my second margarita in front of me. I was on the liquid diet, my favorite. “Seriously?” I exclaimed, loudly. I did say it was my second margarita, extra tequila. “You believe that?”
They and half the restaurant turned to look at me.
Anna rolled her eyes, “Didn’t we ban her from her tequila diet last summer?”
“You believe that gum sits in your stomach without digesting for a month? Oh my God, you have got to be kidding me.”
“Yeah, I think I’m remembering why.” Barbara whispered to Anna sighing.
“I can tell you for a fact that isn’t true,” I continued. “If chewing gum didn’t digest for a month, swallowing gum would be a cheap form of bariatric surgery. I’d swallow a whole pack every wee. It doesn’t stay in your stomach forever.”
“I love her on this diet.” Tammy laughed, hailing the waitress. “She’s about ready for her third.
(Based on a real life conversation. After that much tequila, you know who you are.)
Is that how they got the name for that song ‘Tequila Gum-rise’ listening to you and your friend’s conversation? ‘It’s just another tequila gum-rise….’
LikeLike
Hi Jake,
Could very well be. Though I shudder to think what else someone could come up with listen in on our conversations.
Dee
LikeLike
I’ve never tried a liquid diet. Might work. :8-) 😎
LikeLike
I was never able to stay on it long enough. Let me know how it works out. LOL
Dee
LikeLike
Ha ha ha. Not my sort of diet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve done the liquid diet a couple of times. Always seemed to turn out badly. Never lost weight, but had a number of strenuous workouts defending myself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I may try that diet, only with rum. Tequila and I had to end our relationship. It was an ugly break-up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Witty and humorous. Lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Going to have try this myself 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL. Curious where this image came from? I love the style.
LikeLike
I got this image in 2011 I think. I’m not sure it’s available anymore. I got 5 or 6 very similar is a bundle of images.
I haven’t used it before, but I’m always collected images I absolutely love.
LikeLike
Haha thank you for this. It made me laugh.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounded like quite the girl’s night out! Or if it was during the day then i’d have to congratulate you and be slightly envious!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very interesting and helpful THANKS!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting post…I’ll have to revisit. Rgds
LikeLiked by 1 person
Interesting post and also a bit of a laugh thanks. Don’t know if I will try it but think I will revisit though
LikeLike
What a nice post! you made my day a little brighter. Think many of us can relate!
LikeLike
Great blog, this really brightened up my day! Will be checking in again soon.
LikeLike