April 27
I went in for a biopsy today. Allie was going to go with me to the hospital until something came up with Ladies Guild. Something seemed to come up pretty frequently, but that was Allie. That was my baby sister.
“I’ll meet you by the gate,” she said, when she called early this morning.
I knew she meant she’d be waiting in my room when they brought me back.
But Charlie was with me. He was there overseeing everything, asking the pertinent questions and taking note of any instructions. In my room, waiting, I had Charlie. As they wheeled me towards a roomful of strangers, panic set in. But by the time I got to the procedure room, I realized I was holding my breath.
I need to remember to breath.
I had heard stories of my Mom, how she joked with the staff and even argued with them. Not me, I couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t breathe, barely held back tears. I don’t know how she held it all together.
People were around me preparing, talking to each other, and hooking up equipment. I tried not to think about what they were doing.
I forced myself to concentrate on something other than what was about to happen. I tried to think about Allie, when we were kids. How we walked home together. I tried to recount the path. We’d start by the big oak tree by the gate to the playground.
“I’ll meet you at the gate,” we’d call to each other, parting in the morning.
And there she was waiting every afternoon. Well, almost every afternoon, sitting among the big gnarled roots of the tree.
My back started to tremble. I tried to relax the muscles to make it stop, but couldn’t.
You’re panicking just relax.
We’d walk down the side walk, the few blocks to home. We’d talk about our day and homework.
My teeth were chattering. I tried to keep my breathing even. I was shaking all over.
I needed to think about something else. I remembered Allie’s favorite dress. She wore it almost every day in the third grade. I tried to talk her out of it. It was embarrassing having your little sister wear the same dress every day. Mom washed it every evening. She didn’t care, but I did.
I could hear instruments rattling on a metal tray. My cheeks were moist from tears.
The dress, think about the dress, it was a cotton print with strawberries and a red collar. Grandma made it for her.
Someone slipped a plastic tube in my mouth.
And what about my brother, Bryan? Why had he abandoned us when we needed him most? How had he gotten so far away? How had I let this go on for so long?
I tried to remember to breathe, tried to relax, tried to stop shaking.
I think this is your best installment yet, as far as the pacing. You did a great job of shifting between the present, your fear, and your memories. With the mention of the tube in the mouth, I’m wondering how long ago this is set. I went through the same procedure a few years ago, and I think they knocked me out with an IV in the arm.
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Thank you. It took me a lot of rewriting to finally get something that wasn’t a boring retelling of a hospital visit.
I had an IV but they were getting a biopsy from my stomach. And it has been a while ago. Dee
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My hands are locked grasping the table. Whew. Talk about tightly wound. This is wonderful writing. 🙂
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Why thank you. I’m your biggest fan. I think Friday I’m posting another picture and the book will start again on Monday. Dee
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Awesome, Dee. Post away. I await with bated breath. 😀
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Thank you. I you were a man I’d ask you to marry me. Dee
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This family has issues. Her worrying should make her a little more dramatic or comparative to her sister and brother. As she has to do this because no-one else would/thought of it
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I think all families have issues. Each member plays some role within the overall group. Thanks. Dee
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Roles overlapping builds great tension
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Thank you. You know I may be falling in love with you. Dee
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That’s the way it works, a couple nice things exchanged. You believe me to be something else. Then I spend a lifetime trying to match those expectations, only to wake up and say who the hell is she?! Still the nicest complement I have heard in awhile, many thanks my darling.😉
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I am on the edge of my seat…
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Thank you. I can’t believe anyone is reading this. I’ve been told it’s kind of crappy and no one wanted to publish it.
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Great tension before the procedure and interjecting the brother was genius. Good job.
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John, will you marry me. Dee
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I’m honored. Of course I will. 🙂
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I’m sorry that some people say this story is “kind of crappy”. I’m enjoy it. Especially this installment. I was holding my breath also. You did well expressing the feelings of the situation. Though I’ve never experienced anything like it, in a sense, I could relate to the feelings. All the reflections on the past while trying to deal with the present situation. The anxiety of not only the procedure but the underlying feeling of what they might find.
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Matthew, I appreciate the kind words and the comments. It helps me keep writing. Thanks.
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The people who think this kind of stuffy is “crappy” are probably the sort who green light material such as Twilight.
As I read these installments I can practically see your tears rolling down your cheeks, you shake with nervousness and the instruments rattle on the metal tray. I know I am reading the experiences of someone who went through this, which is why it is so tangible and flows so well.
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Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. Dee
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Great writing. I was in the story immediately.
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Hi Dianna,
Thank you for you lovely comment.
Dee
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This is definitely most tense installment yet. The flashbacks and the way she has to keep reminding herself of things really lets you delve into her backstory find out more about her.
I live your writing style, also, and really wish I was able to write like this. Best of luck. Courtney
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You are so sweet. Thank you Courtney.
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No problem 🙂
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I agree with other comments i glanced upon as i was scrolling down. A great installment, smooth and flowy. As with all good writing i felt a bit of deja vu.
This made me pay closer attention to things. Trying to understand the world, the world you write about…
Thanks so much
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Thank you again. You’re comments are very much appreciated. Dee
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The emotional connection in this installment is palpable and wrenching this is the best one I think, great job!
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Thank you. It took many rounds of editing to get the result I was looking for. Dee
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