NOTE: I apologize. I don’t think I made this very clear. This is a work of fiction based very loosely on my experience that took place many years ago. I am not currently ill, but am using that as a bases to write this fictional story.
April 7
I was on a mission to get rid of the excess things in my life. Clean up, clear out, and get rid of my extra baggage. I was working on the bathroom. A cabinet full of products I hadn’t used in years – moisturizers, conditioners, makeup, lotions, and scented soaps, odds and ends of medicines, band aids, and gauze.
Leaning against the wall were the shell pictures Charlie had promised to hang. After all these years of being single, when did I become so dependent on a man? Do I really need a man? Man, no. Hammer, yes.
***
I was wandering through the rows at the hardware store, looking for a hammer. I came upon a rack of seeds. Carrots, lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, squash, and flower seeds. Racks and racks, rows and rows. Beautifully drawn pictures and amazing photographs of huge specimens. I felt a change of plans. I needed to reconnect with my Mother and Grandmother. I find myself missing them more and more lately. I remember those summer days, watching my Grandmother and later my Mother bent over a patch of vegetables, weeding, watering and harvesting. As a child, I wandered barefoot through the rows of lush green plants. I want to feel that carefree peacefulness again.
I loaded my cart with more than thirty packets of seeds; seven varieties of tomatoes, six types of lettuce, two kinds of cucumbers, squash – yellow and green, spinach, beans – string beans, green peas, and lima beans, potato starters, garlic and onion bulbs. My cart was overflowing with bags of soil, containers and gardening tools.
Not to forget the gardening gloves. Grandma always had pink flowers on her gloves. I searched through the racks. Solid colors mostly – green, pink, and yellow. A few lavender flowers in back. But I needed pink. Finally on the bottom of the rack behind a row of red rose print, I found the last pink floral gardening gloves. I added them to my now impossible to maneuver basket.
Once home, I started on my mission. I filled rows and rows of tiny containers with soil and seeds, misting each set as I went. I literally had hundreds of soil filled containers when I finished. Perhaps I had gone a little overboard. It doesn’t really matter. Now I can water and wait. Waiting is how I spend most of my time these days. But this is much better than waiting for test results.
Deidra, I love, love, love your writing, but would like to offer one suggestion on this piece (whose first installment scared the crap out of me, BTW, thinking you were facing certain doom!).
Pick a verb tense and stick with it. In this installment, you start out in past, shift to the present for a few thoughts, then shift back to past. It doesn’t do anything for the story and it’s a tad distracting.
Personally, I’d go with straight present tense for the immediacy of it, but that’s just based on the bit I’ve seen. It’s your call. You’ve got me a hooked reader either way!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. You’re right. When I read through it again I realized the switch. I appreciate the support and the critique. I think I might give present tense a try. Dee
LikeLike
Great story. Would like to see more.
LikeLike
Thank you, John. Dee
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see another. Yay.
LikeLike
This is a great beginning. I’m hooked. 😀
LikeLike
My master plan has kicked in. I want to be your blog drug of choice. Insert evil laugh here.
LikeLike
You have succeeded!
LikeLike
I love the life/death motif you’ve implied with the seeds and the past/future reference as well. It’s a thrill to see a writer’s work layered with substance. Looking forward to more.
LikeLike
Wow, Thanks. Dee
LikeLike
You have a bit of hope and connection growing here. Waiting is acceptable in the garden, kind of strange with disease
LikeLike
I buried myself in something else, painting. My total focus narrowed into this one thing. It became so important to me I couldn’t think about what was really going on. It is a way of coping I suppose. Thanks for the comment. I appreciate it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Coping is a defense mechanism. It’s imitates lies
LikeLike
The lies we let ourselves belief. I have a couple of those myself. Thanks Dee
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t need a man, I need a hammer. That I really can appreciate. I love my hammer; probably the best friend I ever had. So, like Barbie, I made sure he had friends, bigger, smaller, round head, whatever. They get along.
Good reading up there, thanks.
LikeLike
Hi Sha’tara, Thank you for the lovely comment on my writing. I love that reference as well. Dee
LikeLike
I find it interesting that you character wants to de-clutter her life and yet she ends up buying so much at the hardware store 🙂
Also, I agree with catsworking comment about sticking to one tense. It can be difficult, but little details like that make a big difference in your storyline. Onto reading installment #3 😉
LikeLike
Hi Kalieta,
I agree. I seem to slip tenses. I’m noticing that more and more in the rough draft of the current book I’m working. I made that change in the manuscript and really appreciate comments on the writing. I want to correct my mistakes.
Thank you for your comment. Dee
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome 🙂 I think it is important to help each other – as writing is a skill we all want to master (otherwise we wouldn’t be writing, right? ) I had trouble with tenses as well but what helped me more was paying attention to the way authors employ verbs in the books I read, and then try to apply the same technique when I write as well. Good luck with your book!
LikeLike
Hi Kalieta,
That’s a great idea. Thanks. Dee
LikeLike
I’m hooked
LikeLiked by 2 people
That was my wicked plan. Thanks. Dee
LikeLiked by 1 person
You had me hooked from Installment 1 and now you’ve left me craving more. You’re a phenomenal writer- one who deserves recognition. People don’t know how hard it is to write things like this and you’ve nailed it. Courtney
LikeLike
Thank you again Courtney. You’re my new best friend. Dee
LikeLike
No problem bestie 😉 Courtney
LikeLike