My sister is mad at me … again.
My niece’s name is the source of several of our conflicts. I told her to pick a name that could not be made fun of, children and aunts can be so cruel. But my sister went with Elizabeth despite my warning.
When she was an infant, Elizabeth thought lizard gizzard the funniest thing ever.
When she was a toddler, I taught her to sing Lizzie Borden. Nothing’s creepier than hearing that sweet toddler voice sing “she gave her mother fifty whacks”.
And now, I received the softest throw for my birthday. It looked like it was made of tiny feathers. My niece asked, “It’s so soft, what’s it made of?”
My sister gave me the evil glare and said, “No.” Like I was a dog or her kid.
Answers ran through my head: the Easter Bunny, the skin of the last unicorn, or the wings of a thousand fairies. There’s the tooth fairy and that was your fairy godmother.
Instead I said, “The petals of the softest, most beautiful flowers in the world. Do you know what they’re called?”
“No.”
“Lizzie, they were named after you.”
Now my sister’s totally ticked. Her daughter won’t respond to Elizabeth any more. Now she’s Lizzie. Next stage, get her to nickname herself “E”, since I’m “D”. On to my niece Georgina.
Auntie’s coming G.
Addendum: I was asked if plucking the wings from fairies hurts them. I’m not sure about that, but it definitely slows them down.
I love it! You are the best Auntie ever. Yotaki Beautywalk
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Thank you I think so.
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Wow!
Truly creative approach to Aunt-hood!
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I think my techniques create well rounded individuals
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Wicked
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Exactly.
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Love your pictures and your stories…thank you.
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Thanks. The images are curtsey of some very talented artists.
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I call my nephew Char Char Binks instead of Charlie. His dad thinks it’s funny though.
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Char Char Binks! Too funny! 😛
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I love that nickname.
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That is excellent. But your sister should have known Elizabeth would HAVE to be shortened to ‘Lizzie’. It’s inevitable.
(re: Pride & Prejudice)
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It was going to be shortened to something. If she didn’t want me to do, she would have done it herself.
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I really love your blog and writing style! 🙂 I am an aspiring fantasy fiction writer and am hoping to start my own blog.
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Let me know when you do so I can check it out.
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Very clever. Cute little story 🙂 What ideas have you for Georgina?
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I’m thinking Genie or Enie Meenie and then of course G. It goes with E and D
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Absolutely love your images and your stories 🙂
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Thank you very much. The images don’t always match. I just love pictures.
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Evil yet hilarious!
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Exactly the intent
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Very funny! Aunt’s are supposed to given their nieces and nephews nicknames.
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Aunts are supposed to give their nieces and nephews their personality quirks. Who doesn’t want a quirk?
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And here I thought Elizabeth was a hard to tease name (note: I’m not an Elizabeth, just a Beth). Would any name be safe from Auntie D?
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My thoughts exactly! I don’t think any name is safe from teasing, especially from a determined Auntie. 😉 I was under the impression that Elizabeth was a more common name and therefore less chances of getting mocked. I think it’s pretty; a classic, elegant, ladylike name.
I’m a Beth too, but it’s short for Bethany. Over the years I’ve just embraced all the named derived from it. 🙂
This story is adorable! I want to be that kind of aunt. 😛
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Surely you have friends who have children you can twist.
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Oh no, I warned her Elizabeth was going to be Lizzie Borden before she had the baby.
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Hahahahhaaa!!! That was hilarious! 😀
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Thank you. It’s good to be appreciated.
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Oh – your niece will always remember how funny you are. Wicked?yes. Funny? yes that too!
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And hopefully she will grow up to be the same kind of aunt.
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Just as long as you don’t call her “Liza with a Z”.
I sure hope I’m not dating myself.:)
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Hadn’t crossed my mind. I already have my master plan in place and it doesn’t involve Liza.
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My favourite is the wings of a thousand fairies.
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Mine too and there’s your fairy godmother.
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Chortling aloud again…Thank you.
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My pleasure. Thank you.
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Your post reminded me of the relationship I had with my sister who is now gone. Thank you.
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You’re very welcome. I’m sorry your sister is gone, but I’m glad I could give you a chance to remember.
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I love being an aunt. Except I have 6 nephews and only one niece(in-law). My sisters are the same way, they have only one niece, my daughter. No names I can pick on. They are as short as they can get already. Now my name on the other hand…no I’m not married to Tarzan!
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I love the boys. They’re great fun. I’m the aunt who ate a grass hopper (candied, but still).
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I love your style of writing! It’s very witty and funny
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Thank you. Very generous of you to say.
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Hey…thanks for stopping-by the blog…and I do rather enjoy your sarcasm and wit…don’t stop. 🙂
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Not sure it’s possible to stop this. Before the blog I wrote it in notebooks.
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My dear, that is my kind of Mean! You must be a great Aunt!
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I prefer twisted to mean. And the vote is I’m a great aunt.
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I like your writing. Something about it seems always to resonate.
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Thank you. I’m glad it speaks to you and not in that scary kind of she should be committed way.
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Thanks for sharing! Brought back many memories long ago and recent of being an auntie, myself 🙂
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Isn’t it grand.
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I’m glad you stopped by and liked my penguin pic. It led me to return the visit and spend some time exploring your writing. Thanks for the laughs and the enjoyables reads.
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Yes, I like your picture and plan to make another visit soon. Thanks.
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Very … bwhahahahfunnydarkwickedgood…and I’m still laughing. My niece is an Elizabeth and her mother forbade any shortening to the Lizz genre or any of the Beth genre. She became Lizardbreath. There is not a name that can’t be jazzed up by siblings or creative aunties.
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Lizard breath is fabulous. You could have a line of purses with that name.
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Thanks for stopping by and “liking” my post and for choosing to “follow” me. I applaud your amazingly great taste. 😉
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Thank you and I yours.
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Fab story. Nice words. 🙂
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Thanks!
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How has your sister not banned you from all contact? 🙂 Lovely story.
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Family law, she can’t
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Captivating reading 🙂
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Thank you, I love captives.
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Kids’ names are such a tricky business. My wife and I had a working list of several when my daughter was on her way. We considered the implications of each. But we finally settled when she arrived and tested out our first choice on her. It fit her like a glove.
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I think you feel the name is right when it’s finally placed on the person.
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It’s moments like these during which I love being an aunt or aunt substitute. I have a “niece” who is the daughter of a friend who I taught to “eat” the pictures off the coffee table. Her mother looked at me and all I could do was laugh as her daughter kept grabbing at the table and “eating” the lovely pictures of apples and zebras.
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That’s great.
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My aunt gave me a funny nickname too! Although its too embarrassing to reveal it here, i assure u that its downright silly! 🙂
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We would love to know the nickname.
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Great Blog. Enjoyed your writing. I’m curious to know your views on this literary genre. Why do you think it has exploded in popularity this last decade?
Is it because so little today gets the heart beating that a good scare makes the young feel alive?
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I think there’s something primal in the paranormal genres in particular that is in juxtaposition to the modern technology that is in every part of our lives.
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LOL I sort of pulled something similar to my friend’s daughter. She now insists calling her dolls the most ridiculously long names!
Thanks for visiting my blog. Love ur writings 🙂
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I love that.
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Thanks for stopping by my blog! Love your post on names. We have and Elizabeth in our extended family. She ended up Ellie because the mom and grandmother did not like any of the Lizzy things and we already have a Beth in the family. So now she is Ellie, El, El-bell, Ellie-Belly anything else all of us can come up with!
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I like El, I might give up on E for El.
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Nice story. Great work. 🙂
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Thank you.
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That’s awesome. I’m not an aunt (and never will be technically since I’m an only child), but I love your approach to it.
– Kali
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Perhaps you can be a in-law or step-aunt. Remember they can’t kill you, just give you the boot.
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Kali – I wonder, does that bother you? Not getting to be an aunt? I have an only child, a daughter. Mostly, she hasn’t minded being an only… but one day, when she was about 9 I think, she suddenly burst into tears as we were driving one day because she realized that, as an only, she’d never be an aunt. Nearly broke my heart! I tried to tell her she might marry someone with lots of siblings, but I think that only helped a little…. how do you feel about it?
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It really doesn’t bother me. Not a bit. I have close friends who have said that if/when they have kids I will always be welcome to be an unofficial aunt to their kids. To be honest I don’t think it ever really bothered me. Sure when I was little I might have wished for a little sister, but being an aunt was not anything I ever really thought about until I reached high school and my friend decided they wanted me to be Aunt Kali to their future kids. Also, even if she had siblings that’s no guarantee she would get to be an aunt since her siblings might not even have kids.
I wouldn’t worry about your daughter. Besides, it’s not the technical aunt relationship that matters, it’s what you put into it and that kind of relationship can be forged without blood ties in my opinion.
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That’s to funny… My sister gets mad at me when I’m around her kids too. I’m the aunt that lets them have lots of candy. My sister is one of those health nuts. So for Christmas I’m sending her kids a box full of candy… Is that wrong? Hee, hee!
Jeanna
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Include noise makers in the box. Nothing goes better with candy than cheap horns, zingers and things.
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Bwhahaaa! Genius. Pure evil genius. Hats off and fuzzy spiky hair pointed your way.
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Thanks I’ll see your spiky hair and raise you one heart shaped birthmark.
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That’s one of the best things about having an aunt. They’re supposed to teach you things like the Lizzie Borden rhyme. ESPECIALLY if you’re named Elizabeth.
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That’s a song you have to know if your name is Elizabeth.
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Awww :).. Love this story, You sound like an amazing Aunt. It’s fun to be a Aunt to me 🙂
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Thanks. I don’t know about amazing, but I’m certainly different.
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I had a friend in high school named Elizabeth who absolutely refused to even acknowledge anyone who called her anything besides her full name. Somehow, she pulled that off. Of course, my real name is short and doesn’t lend itself well to nicknames – something that I was always bummed out about!
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I’ve had friends who refused to be nicknamed. I love it I’m Dee and DeeDee and Aunt DeeDee.
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That is awesome.
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Thank you!
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I’m so glad you found my blog because I’ve enjoyed snooping around yours! So funny!
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Thank you and I look forward to getting back around to yours.
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That is hilarious. It’s always fun to torture siblings via their childen.
Thanks for stopping by my little corner!
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I hadn’t thought of it that way. Now I need to find one of my nieces or nephews. Thanks.
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A heartwarming story. Wish I had a nephew or niece to mess with 🙂
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Thank you
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I can relate as I go by E of late. 🙂
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I love either E or El
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Thanks so much for “liking” my blog! I loved reading this post … it was exactly what I needed. You’ve given me a few ideas for my nieces, especially with Christmas right around the corner. 😀
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You’re welcome.
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Wonderful post Deidra! I have just spent some time cruising around your blog and your twitter, I love it all! Thank you for liking my post :-). I see that you have quite a large fan base and I was wondering if you have any advise for an aspiring writer. My dream is to make a living writing and reading all day long!
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I haven’t ventured into the making a living part. That’s my goal for next year. For your online presence if you’re going to be a writer, then you’re an entertainer. Make your blog/website/facebook/twitter or whatever entertaining.
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Thanks for dropping by and liking my site Deidra. You have a nice site and write great stuff. Cheers.
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Thank you and I plan to drop by again soon. There are so many great blogs out there, I’ve started a list of my personal favs and you’re on it.
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Awesome, very interesting read, will be waiting for more :p
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Thank you. I’ll try to deliver.
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Being an aunt is the best ever! You’ll see pieces of you in them. Enjoy all the fun stuff then send them home to Mommy for the real hard stuff!
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Exactly. I like the idea of molding them in my image, just a bit.
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I was laughing out loud after only two sentences! This is another FaBuLouS piece! Hilarious and touching!
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Thank you. I’m so glad you had a good laugh.
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Thank you for visiting my blog, I love your work!!!
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Thank you. You’re blog is on my list of spots.
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Some relatives of mine with the last name of Hunter were going to give their kid the middle name Bounty. I never, ever found it funny. I’m glad they didn’t. The kid has enough issues as it is. LOL!
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OMG bounty hunter? That’s too rich.
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Oh yes. It is, it is. Aiaiai
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aunties and uncles are known to be the early Virgils to the little Dantes who venture in life. they set nieces/nephews’ necks free from the leashes of the parents 😉 first step is always about words: semantically, an aunt creates a new meaning for common words, for the niece. this means creating a brand new world as a playground. so your sis has no chance in resisting, hehe – and on u, is the responsibility of creation. good luck 🙂
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You have a beautiful way with words. Thanks
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I miss my aunt now !Thanks your “like” to my blog!
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Sorry you’re missing your Aunt. Your welcome for the blog love.
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I hope to take these skills and bring them into my aunt-dom. Thank you for sharing the wisdom!!
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You are very welcome, good luck with the Auntie job.
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My grandaughter’s name is Ailish, we call her “A”, her Mother is “J” and her brother “K”. My son kept his full name, guess the name changes were only to protect the innocent. Just kidding, son. Nice writing. Really enjoyed it.
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Cute I’m the only letter in my family, right now anyway.
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Hello Deidra, I’m just letting you know that I have made my switch and sadly lost you as a subscriber to hisheartandhome.com. I hope you will come back. Know that I pray for you everyday. Love, Jayne
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I subscribed to your new blog. Thanks.
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haha, I enjoyed reading this !
I can see my sister and I doing this just to piss each othe off..eventually
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Oh I am not trying to irritate her. *wicked laugh*
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such a sweet niece!Lizzie is a beautiful name, your sister will get use to it ..xxx..
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Thank you and my niece loves it.
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Ahhh. Sisterly…love? hate? frustration? I’m right there with ya, sister. My niece’s name is Maya, which I love- the name and the fifteen-year-old. I do have an Irish friend who, when searching for a name, named his elf-like daughter after an Irish beer- Murphy. I was sworn never to tell the child. Hmm, I hope she doesn’t read this. ~ Linda Joyce.
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LOL I still like the name Murphy
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hahaha I enjoy reading this post, I am also an auntie and things like that well our siblings shld. used to it …:-), thanks for dropping by and liking my blog, have a grate day…
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Thanks. Love your poetry. I’ll make sure someone has a grate day believe me. 🙂
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You are such an awesome writer……I love to read your stories! This was fantastic and so many of us can relate in some form or another.
We have “toys that make noise” in our past…..and have gotten many laughs over the gifts we found!
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Thank you. I am queen of the gifts your mama wouldn’t buy you.
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I’m sorry that I’m late. There’s too many things going on. You visited to find some “revenge secrets”. As to parents being so cruel when naming their offspring try being Dyslexic and having the nom, D’Ellis ! The “biggest” problem came later in life when CIALIS was put onto the market, not funny.
This is a beautiful site with tasty thoughts, well done.
“D”
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I can relate to the dyslexic issue. Yea, I go with D too.
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I loved reading this…Great writings that you have created here…
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Thanks.
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I read this to my boys and they thought it was hysterical! Now they want a “fairy wing” blanket; they’ll help pluck! Hahaha!
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OMG you made my choke laughing out loud that is super awesome. Best thing I’ve read. Thanks and tell your boys I’ll send any strays I find their way.
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I am an Elizabeth. And I am Aunt B to ny niece and nephews who have nicknames granted by me. Skittlebottoms, Punkinella, Torpedo, Squeak, Fidget and Dolly are all nicknames for my niece. My sister-in-law used to worry but has adjusted to the many pet names.
Truly enjoyed your story. Thanks
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I love these nicknames. Perfect for a fairytale. You are a genius.
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How I wish you were around for when my parents named me. I’ve been called: Ivy, I’ve, Vanny, Ivana Humpalot, Ivana Tinkle, I-wanna, “that rich guys wife,” etc. Great story! Brings back good ole memories.
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I think I would have nicknamed you Vanna or Vee. Thank you.
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I love the thought of the wings of a thousand fairies….have you heard that when mermaids die they turn to sea foam …it’s TRUE! I really enjoyed your blog, Where would the world be without irreverent Aunts? I, too am known as the “crazy” Aunt, and damn proud of it! Thanks for stopping by my site . . . E
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Crazy Aunts unite. I didn’t know there were so many.
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Hi! Thanks so much for the ‘like’ on my blog, tvglgw.wordpress.com. I have fun sharing my adventures here in China and it’s always great to know that other people like coming along for the ride. I love reading your blog. Your slightly dark and twisted sense of humor is right up my alley! Keep up the great work 🙂
T
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Thanks, I haven’t traveled in Asia and find it fascinating.
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OMG, twisted, I love it!
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I aim to please.
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“The wings of a thousand fairies…”
so cute.
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It’s cute if you’re not a fairy.
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AH ahhaaaaa. When my niece was a toddler, I taught her to sing the “In heaven there is no beer That’s why we drink it here” song. It is fun to hear these things coming from a little one. My own son, when around 3 or 4, would sing Rob Zombie’s “Dragula” and crack me up.
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So cute.
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You’re an evil auntie, but I like your style! Mwa ha ha ha!
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We are need a little twisted in our lives, even the babies.
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Just stopped by your blog for a quick peak and your writing just sucked me in! 🙂 Love your writing style! It’s fun to annoy one’s sisters, isn’t it?
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Unfortunately for women everywhere, I consider all women my sisters. The biological ones are just easier targets.
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Wonderful!!!
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Thank you, I appreciate it.
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I have two nieces Anastasia and Penelope and we are not allowed to shorten them at all (I get corrected all the time no matter how many variations I throw into the mix). Then it occured to me that as their surname begins with an M and I have a AM and a PM to work with! Moon and Sun maybe? Dawn and Dusk:? It needs to be sublime so no one as any idea what I am up to
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That’s genius.
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thanks for the subcribed,
i love your word
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Thanks I’m looking forward to reading more of your blog
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You’re evil. I think I am in love.
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You would be surprised how many people fall in love with evil, male and female. 🙂
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I thought I had already commented here… probably a sign I should stop my late-late-night web sessions (getting up and having lunch wasn’t clear enough for me). Anywho, you’re probably the aunt every kid would like to have. At least one. [Thanks for following.]
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Thanks I think a kid can only take one of me at a time anyway, 🙂
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Priceless!! A number of our friends started their families before us and hubby and I became “Auntie” & “Uncle” to their kids. We would give them really cool noisy toy gifts like mini drum sets, recorders, trumpets, xylophone, toys that played nursery rhymes etc – anything that was loud or played the same tune or song over and over was, in our opinion, deemed to be an awesome gift. Hee hee!! Some years later, when hubby & I had our own baby…….all those noisy gifts were returned to us! In full and then some!!! LOL Revenge was indeed sweet for our friends! As for names….every kid had “Monster” added on to the end. eg Madison became Maddie Monster, Jake was Jakie Monster and then we shortened it again to MaddieMon, JakieMon etc. Funny how things just “evolve”….. BTW – thank you also for liking my Blog too, Deidra. I really appreciate it and I think you are very entertaining!
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Thanks. I still think the big box of candy and noise makers from Halloween are the best Christmas gifts.
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Yeah, So I’ve decided I love you. Love all the stories. Great sense of humor. Thank you!!!
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The feeling’s mutual. I could sit and look at your avatar all day. Quite fetching. Thanks.
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Awesome!
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how do i do this
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Step 1 Locate fairies. (They generally found by water, though some have been known to hang out in your finer drinking establishment. I prefer drunken fairies.)
Step 2 Capture said fairies. I like to use a glass jar as a holding cell, so that I can tap and keep count.
Step 3 Hold fairy still, pluck wings.
The creation of the blanket is pretty much self-explanatory.
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We are a bunch of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your web site offered us with useful information to paintings on. You have done an impressive activity and our entire neighborhood shall be thankful to you.
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Thank you. It really was nothing, just fairy wing plucking. Anyone can do it really.
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You really are a twisted person. Having said that, there is the chance that this is a good thing (though troublesome for those close to you).
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You should see me in yoga class. Thanks.
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I’ve been gone for a while, but now I remember why I used to love this blog. Thanks, I’ll try and check back more often. How often do you update your web site?
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Welcome back.
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I love this post.
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