Project Monkey Dung is an outlet for all the outrageous things said or thought while at a job. It’s mostly posted through Twitter.
If you don’t have access to Twitter, have a Tweet allergy, or are too scared to post under your own name, leave a comment here and I’ll post it for you. I’ll also be adding stories here that are too long to post on The Twitter. Be looking for the first Don’t Touch the Corporate Sausage. The story of a real email sent by a real partner at a real company. I know, hard to believe.
Project Inception: Some days it’s like we’re deep in the jungle & everyone around here’s throwing dung – Project Monkey Dung was born.
Here are the current Twitter worthy comments from #ProjectMonkeyDung :
Project Monkey Dung where life ends and perpetual slavery begins.
Was late for staff meeting said can be beautiful or on time boss said not beautiful enough.
We had a meeting to schedule the rest of the meetings.
Boss trying to teach me lesson for being late by scheduling meeting at 8am he’s only punishing himself I’ll never make it.
Why 8:00 a.m. Sucks?
I could like an 8 o’clock meeting if it wasn’t for the 8 o’clock part.
I hate 8:00 a.m. because –
My password doesn’t work right the first time.
It comes way before 10.
My lung and the air are not speaking to each other yet.
The world hasn’t yet tilted back on its axis from the night before.
Perky people want me to kill them.
People are grouchy at 8am.
1. I know, I’m people.
People are smart asses at 8am, see statement 1.
People are stupid at 8am again statement 1.
People bitch at 8am. Keep going to the aforementioned statement 1.
Stupid people make me late at 8am, again the number 1 statement.
Work smarter, not harder. If I was that much smarter I’d work somewhere else.
A manager scheduled an impossible date, saying she was committing me to a date, not an asylum. Could I have the asylum?
I called my boss Brosephine. I know I’m the bulb that flickers in the string of Christmas lights.
Remember, don’t sling it, post it!