Why I oughta…
Posted in art, comedian, comic, humor, sarcasm, Uncategorized | Tagged author, comedian, comedy, comic, fantasy, food, funny, humor, humour, job, life, paranormal, work, writer, writing | 10 Comments »
Another recipe from the family vault. I’m amazed to find someone write this recipe down, but it’s your gain or loss, whatever.
Think oysters on the half shell but without the oyster. Okay, this may be a little too gourmet for some of you, so bear with me.
To start, you’re going to need cooked rice. Combine the rice with water, Worcestershire, vinegar, sugar, ketchup
(You know it’s high class when ketchup’s in the ingredients.)
(Because we all know bologna doesn’t contain the fat content we’re looking for.)
Heat all that crap up. (I should write a cookbook with descriptions like that.)
In the meantime heat up fat, yes I said it, FAT in a skillet. (I like it when they just call a spade a spade.)
Brown the bologna. Now you’re getting it. Bologna cups, half shells.
Fill the bologna cup with rice, top with cheese, and broil.
There you have it. What I like to call – Country Folk Half Shells.
God, I thought fancy bologna was greatness when I was a kid.
Posted in comedian, comic, family, humor, sarcasm, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged author, comedian, comedy, comic, fantasy, food, funny, humor, job, life, paranormal, work, writer, writing | 23 Comments »
Look see, this is our beach. Don’t make me get the other bouncers. Cause Walrus baby, we will take you on.
What do you think happened? And no, you can’t say global warming.
Posted in art, comedian, comic, humor, sarcasm, Uncategorized | Tagged author, comedian, comedy, comic, fantasy, food, funny, humor, humour, job, life, paranormal, work, writer, writing | 28 Comments »
How about a little fiction?
Inquisitions weren’t unheard of these days. But they were certainly rare enough. I never thought I might be involved in one of them.
How could everything have gone so wrong? Our first mission end not just in failure, but death. I glanced on either side of me and saw the worn tired faces of my team members, my younger sisters. Was it my imagination or did they look broken?
The empty seat of our necromancer, cousin Sarh, caught my eye.
I remembered when my Aunt and Uncle had realized their precious little darling was born to raise the dead. Sarh had barely been four. Her parents were hosting the mid-summers celebration. Everyone had been there. Imagine her parents’ shock when the family cat, dead two weeks came romping through the house. Their golden haired four year old following after. I was only six and still remembered my horror. I was always a little repulsed by her.
Nausea swept over me. How could I have ever been repulsed a girl, my cousin, my family?
“Why did you not call for assistance?” The voice of the inquisitor brought me back.
My hand trembled, my eyes stung. I blinked. I couldn’t cry during the inquisition. I would win their sympathy perhaps, but they would never let me off world again. Let alone lead my team.
“We have no elders. The rest of my family are younger than us, still in school. We couldn’t risk their lives. I wasn’t sure we would even make it.”
The old men magicked our family history. The shimmering outline of the text was in front of them.
“Surely there was someone,” the old man said, as he flipped through the text. “Ah, here.”
I closed my eyes and began silently counting. Trying not to remember the mid-summer’s celebration. My sisters’ and
I were hiding beneath the house.
One, two, three tables on the lawn.
Four, five, six, white table clothes fluttered in the summer breeze.
Seven, eight, nine a flash of light my Grandmother fell her eyes staring at nothing.
Ten, Eleven, Twelve the world stopped for a moment.
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Silence, nothing, it wasn’t real. a
Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. A scream, tables overturning, everyone running.
Nineteen, twenty. My Father lay gasping in front of us.
That was the day that took the rest of our family.
And now Sarh.
- Follow Deidra Alexander's Blog on WordPress.com
- ln.is/ow.ly/i/nTrOO When did I become my dog's BITCH? #photograph 12 hours ago
- ln.is/ow.ly/i/JRkJk Blind #DOG is having a play date this afternoon!! 13 hours ago
- My consulting break is over. I have to be in NYC Monday morning. :( Book will have to wait for a few minutes. #WorkGettingInTheWayOfLife 15 hours ago
- I swear I'm getting out of my pajamas any minute now!! :) #LivingFreeDuringMyBreak 16 hours ago
- ln.is/ow.ly/i/xTDZI What's your caption? 1 day ago
- I have a tip jar for questions .25 for answers $1 for correct answers. Someone asked Do I need to loss weight? I said, No. She put in $1 1 day ago
- ln.is/ow.ly/i/DreQG Summer Days. 1 day ago
Love to Write
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- May 2014
- April 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- April 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010