I’ve managed to break another tablet. I mention this since it has been a while since I’ve posted. I travel during the week and use my tablet to stay connected. I managed to break this tablet, by plugging my cell phone charger into my tablet. Not that this had any thing to do with drinking whiskey straight. It happened during the airport apocalypse. I can assure you there was no whiskey involved in that incident though I think it couldn’t have hurt.
I stay at a hotel in Sioux Falls with a secret club on the ninth floor. You have to know about it and then beg and whine to get access. Since I’m a superb whiner, I was granted access the second night. Persistence, squeaky wheel, you know the drill…
I was given a key card to swipe on the reader in the elevator. This allows you to reach the hitherto inaccessible ninth floor run by Charlie, a lovely older lady. Charlie’s an interesting character. She use to be a manager with the hotel before she had a brain aneurysm. She has some memory related issues but other than that, she’s in tiptop shape.
At this point, you’re thinking where does the whiskey come in. The attraction of the secret club is an open bar and free food. They serve an entree and what I call bits and pieces, cheese, nuts, shrimp and the like. And did I mention the open bar is free. The Ninth Floor began to remind me of gangster movie, which led to drinking liquor straight.
I would step up to Charlie’s bar and say, “Whiskey, straight.”
Her brows would wrinkle and she would say, “Really?”
I replied, “Yeah.” Like a gansta says yeah.
She would shake her head like we hadn’t been through this the night before and pour the cocktail. I grabbed it, downed it and slammed the glass back down. The mostly male audience was impressed. And I would go about my evening.
Recently I went in for a checkup. My doctor is a tiny thing, even shorter than my five foot two self. This doctor makes grown men quake, even other doctors.
I have a policy “Be bad, but don’t lie about it.” So when she asked, You’re a moderate drinker, right?
I replied, “Yeah, mostly. Except for the whiskey, straight, only one, a night.”
She stopped and turned. I’m sure she assumed I would have a different answer.
“What you mean?” she asked, looking at me over her glasses.
“I found this club. The drinks are free. One thing leads to another. You know.”
The diminutive doctor comes over. Patting my arm she said, “Just because it’s free, doesn’t mean we want it.”
Now when a bartender asks me, “Want something to drink?”
I replied, “Nah, my doctor told me to stop drinking whiskey straight.”
Which gets about the same reaction as drinking whiskey straight.