Someone said something so funny it made me laugh until my eye twitched.
Archive for September, 2012
My phone number belonged to a call girl before I got it from T-Mobile. She must have been really good because she still gets calls. I thought about answering numbers I don’t know with some themed response, depending on the time of the year.
For Christmas I thought about answering with –
Do you want a one horse open sleigh or the whole team?
We’re running a two for one special on Santa’s Little Helper.
Would you like the two French hens and my partridge in your pear tree?
And since St. Patty’s Day has just passed –
I’ll trade you my pot of gold for yours.
With this kind of talent, I should be writing erotica.
I’m going to New Orleans. One of my friends is going too, but she taking her husband and children.
To my friend, if I see you coming towards me and cross the street, it’s not that I don’t love you. I’m just pretending I don’t know you.
Image from cafebojangles.com
On my way to New Orleans, I stayed in a less expensive hotel in order to save a little money. It seemed fine enough, except the carpet was sticky, there were no washcloths and no soap. When I called about it, the front desk did give me several packets of shampoo.
I feel dirty and not in a good way.
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- Top 10 Things I Said During Christmas ln.is/deidraalexande… 1 month ago
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- Made popcorn using caramel sea salt butter. If #privateselection were to sponsor me, I would make shameless or shameful plugs for them 1 month ago
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- The Darkness ln.is/wp.me/yUjZM 1 month ago
- Day 2 Kitten Sitting ln.is/wp.me/BGoEa 1 month ago
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