Someone said something so funny it made me laugh until my eye twitched.
Archive for September, 2012
My phone number belonged to a call girl before I got it from T-Mobile. She must have been really good because she still gets calls. I thought about answering numbers I don’t know with some themed response, depending on the time of the year.
For Christmas I thought about answering with -
Do you want a one horse open sleigh or the whole team?
We’re running a two for one special on Santa’s Little Helper.
Would you like the two French hens and my partridge in your pear tree?
And since St. Patty’s Day has just passed -
I’ll trade you my pot of gold for yours.
With this kind of talent, I should be writing erotica.
I’m going to New Orleans. One of my friends is going too, but she taking her husband and children.
To my friend, if I see you coming towards me and cross the street, it’s not that I don’t love you. I’m just pretending I don’t know you.
Image from cafebojangles.com
On my way to New Orleans, I stayed in a less expensive hotel in order to save a little money. It seemed fine enough, except the carpet was sticky, there were no washcloths and no soap. When I called about it, the front desk did give me several packets of shampoo.
I feel dirty and not in a good way.
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- Sitting at home, listening to the rain and waiting for the rapture. Okay I'm really watching Netflix. 6 days ago
- I thought “I need a bracelet”. Then I thought I need to remember the definition of need. A bracelet is never a need. 2 weeks ago
- I need emergency water seeing brawny firemen. On second thought, need brawny firemen. 2 weeks ago
- Blind dog is tired. I think she had to wage a campaign against the tyranny of the squirrels. 2 weeks ago
- Not to worry, I made through my nap with little to no permanent damage. No really, I was that way before. 2 weeks ago
- My coworkers think I’m prepared since I have a hairbrush in my desk. It’s secret code for I don’t always brush my hair in the morning. 2 weeks ago
- Dehydrated…must…get…water or tequila…whichever is closer. 2 weeks ago
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