Lots of people have a fear of public speaking. Sadly my niece, who can give an hour long dissertation on the merits of ranch dressing isn’t one of them. Imagine Bubba from Forrest Gump listing all the shrimp recipes then you’ve got a fair idea of my niece and ranch dressing. I love ranch dressing too, until a one hour long description of it in high sped. Now I wish it had never been invented.
Archive for April, 2012
I hate it when I’m working late at night. All’s quiet and dark, when my cursor starts moving across the screen like the pointer on a Weegie Board. It scares the crap out of me. I’m like, “Grandma?”
I reached in the frig and pulled out a bag of yellow goop. My hand would’ve been covered in slime, but it was inside a plastic bag. I’m now fan of the petroleum products, but scared of the back corner of my refrigerator.
If you would like a daily dose of Deidra, My Traveling Panties & Other Stories of Champagne & Cheeze Whiz is available for Kindle. Monthly archives will be available soon for all formats.
I have a co-worker I like to refer to as Miss Positivity. When I’m ranting and raving about someone whose causing me issues, she’s all. “You never know what’s going on in her life. She might be having issues.”
I tried to get her to say something bad about anyone.
So I asked, “What about a serial killing cannibal?”
To which she replied, “He might have a vitamin deficiency, you never know.”
Tell that to the people in his freezer.