Recently, when I was having one of my meltdowns a male, who shall remain nameless, shoved my head in his armpit.
I, of course, began whaling him. Not that it did me much good. I’m 5’2″ and he’s 6’2″.
I asked or maybe screamed a little, “What are you doing?”
He replied, “Calming you down. Male musk has a calming affect on females.”
“Do I look calm?”
“If you would just let biology work.”
“I’m going to let anatomy work if you ever do that again.”
Oh I can’t stop laughing!!
Very imaginative!!!
How could you come with such idea?
Hi,
That is just so funny, I can easily picture this as my Husband is 6’2″ and I’m 5’21/2″ the half an inch makes a lot of difference.
Yes It does, I am 5’3(but 5’5 in my head) and my husband is 6 and I totally get you
I don’t think I’ll try that on my wife when she goes into one. I’ll stick with the tried and tested tea, chocolate and feigning interest.
Feigning interests – LOL
Often I fail at even that so it’s just as well I make a mean cuppa.
That’s a much better idea.
OMG What a funny post , you are truly amazing what a story
Thank you. You’re very sweet.
I am truly surprised at your reticence, Deidra. I should have though you’d stomp his instep, at least. I do enjoy these little stories you pass along. You are a very funny storyteller.
Thanks again.
Wow, my knee would have showed him how much biology can hurt.
You would think. But from personal experience having your head stuck in someone’s armpit can be disorienting.
Ha ha ha! I’m still laughing. So funny. thanks for sharing
Believe me, when your face is buried in a hairy armpit, it’s not as funny as it seems now.
Gross! LOL, That’s just not cool of him!
Typical man!
I can’t believe someone actually thought that was a good idea, a good impulse to act upon, and to further state it out loud….
Too much science geek in one man’s brain, burnt out common sense long before I got to him.
LMAO!
Pit-lock is a regular threat in our house. Usually with the same result you describe.
Eww, stay away from my pits.
My answer to him would have been “and I heard tying a man’s testicles in a knot will bring them to their knees!” After all, you had an easy reach from that position…….. LOL That is a great story! Thanks for sharing…
Good one, I’ll have to try it sometime.
Men!
Can’t live with them, can’t have the stuffed.
I’m just a guy with a limerick reply…
An armpit is not a good place,
To shove someone’s beautiful face;
It smells and it’s dark,
It’s no where to park,
It’s really an awful disgrace.
Compliments of Humorous Interludes
LOL You Rock. Inspiring!!
Thank you.
Eww! As a male type person, I can’t imagine doing that. At my paltry 5’9″ (6’5″ with afro) and my wife’s 5’0″ I wouldn’t dream (read DARE) do that. At least not without saying goodbye to some favorite bits.
6’5″ with the afro? That’s one amazing head of hair!
EEEUUUWW! I have never heard of that one. Whale away!
Classic!
LOL! And yet, my stomach churns just…ugh…I just ate breakfast!
What’s worse is, it sounds like something my husband would consider. And he’s 6’3″
BLUAGH! I would have punched him, really…
At 5’2″ I have been there too. It is not an experience I would want to repeat. Loved the story and the way you tell one. Yotaki Beautywalk
Bahahaha! Clearly he’s a male and your female… extra sense. Go with the knee next time.
Too hilarious. Good one!
If someone had done that to me, I doubt there would have been any conversation exchanged. I would immediately take that as an attack reacted as LOUDLY as nature would allow, at least before I fainted.
Where do these ideas come from and how do they get so misconstrued?
Baahahahaha! Is that man your husband?
That is so funny.
Sometimes I just don’t see a use for men at all beyond moving furniture and other heavy objects. Neanderthals.
Typical, hilarious & disgusting. Thank you. And during a meltdown? Not too bright a guy is he? He’s lucky he still has his boys.
Don’t they understand that you can get a better affect by putting your nose to their neck? Duh! One of the same frustrations I have with being short. I’d have let biology work and pulled on the armpit hairs!
OH MAN!! That would have been a good one!
The male mind
Men think of the weirdest things, LOL!
I have never heard anything so strange and silly and useless in my life. Weird.
This actually made me laugh so hard I snorted!
And at 4’11″ – all I ever see is boobs and butts, pits are out of my reach. ;P
Your male friend is misinformed. Studies have shown that the touch of a man, such as a man touching a woman’s arm or shoulder, helps reduce a woman’s sensitivity to pain. But I’m not aware of studies which show that male scent helps “calm” a woman. Most women I know are irritated by the way men smell.
Especially after a nice sweaty lawn mowing session.
Ughhhhh…
Funny! I wait for your revenge
Next time just punch him in his junk and say, “Now, that was calming!”
That’s great.
Bwahahaha
I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! Check it out here (http://thisisthecraftyone.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/the-versatile-blogger-award/)
x
Ho ho! – bite him next time, that should forestall any future attempts…
Good one! For some reason, having my head stuck in someone’s armpit isn’t conducive to rational thought.
Eeuwwww, Yuk!
OMG … O … M … G – I actually burst out laughing. I mean, that could not have felt funny at the moment, but to read this, it is so funny. Thanks for sharing and making me smile. (Sorry that happened to you, though)
That is crazy bizzare! How would anybody come up with that?
Lol, but I have to agree, its kinda funny. I had to laugh. He’s not done it again I hope?
Too funny!!! I will never understand where men get their ideas from.
This one got his from majoring in Biology.
Reblogged this on YHVH Entertainment.
I thought he showed considerable restraint. The male “musky” scent may eminate from even less appropriate orifices or areas. He obviously holds you in high esteem. Your threat may have crushed him; call him and see how he’s doing.
I don’t even want to know what orifices that might be. I’ll just count my blessings.
Sounds to me like a good reason for a Bobbittization. B^)
Ooh, I like men too much for that.
Hi there, I nominated you for the Sunshine Award. Check it out at Tvglgw.wordpress.com titled Sunshine! Your blog is a great read!
T
Thanks. I’m so far behind I’m going to try to catch up this weekend and will get this soon. Thanks again.
This really made a chuckle. And if sweaty armpits calmed me down I’d be totally zen on the London Underground.
LOL and yuck at the same time.
Love the attitude! You’re right .. it wouldn’t do much to calm me either!
Cheers,
Amma
That’s why they don’t make Man Sweat scented air fresheners.
Thank goodness for that!
Even though I’m a man, I agree with the majority of the posts. This was Not An Appropriate Response.
I find chocolate works better. Lots of chocolate. Throw money at it levels of chocolate.
Alexander
That’s a great suggestion. I take money or chocolate! Great name by the way.
I’m still laughing. You have the best comebacks!
Thanks, I hear that alot from my coworkers, though not so much from my boss.
I love your writing! I just wanted you to know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award! I’ve really enjoyed your blog. You can check out what it’s about at: http://lostdododesigns.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/the-versatile-blogger-award/.
Thanks I’m going try to catch up some this weekend.
…well, you’re taller than me…
My Gramms was 4 foot 8 and Mom 4 foot 10 so I have the illusion of being tall.
P U! Sounds like something a man would come up with.
Bill Nye the science guy.
That’s terrible…
Lol! For quite a few years now, my nose comes right to my oldest son’s arm pit. Whenever I hug him . . .
Eww, teenage stinks!!!
In a twisted, farm-animal way, he was being very sweet. Not that he smelled sweet. Or that you needed his sweetness all over your head like extra hair gel. Obviously needs retraining.