My nephew, the Pistol is five and in kindergarten. He brings home a folder everyday in which the teacher puts a smiley or frowny face and my sister is required to sign it.
When my sister asked for the folder, the Pistol said, “That folder is filled with lies, written by a liar.”
Of course it was a frowny face and read, the Pistol pulled his pants down and sat on a table.
When questioned further, the Pistol replied, “No, I pulled my pants down, then up and then sat on the table.”
His teacher told my sister not to worry about it. It’ll be better once he’s moved to the gifted program.
What the teacher really meant – “Don’t worry about it. It’ll be better once he’s out of my class.”
Ah, teacher speak.
There are lots of excellent examples of such euphemism. Like “really spirited and energetic” means “bouncing off the walls in such an obnoxious way I’ve considered quitting.” You know, that sort of thing.
Exactly!!
On the other hand, the teacher might have been speaking the truth. The heart, soul and mind of a gifted child can awaken with sudden intensity when he discovers meaning and purpose in a program designed for his needs. I know; I’ve seen it happen many times.
She’s a better woman than I am.
Very true. I’ve seen it happen often myself.
I kinda like the Pistol’s spunk.
I love that and that he’s not mine.
Teacher speak is very similar to doctor speak. “This may cause some discomfort” means “Got a bullet to bite on?”
Oh yeah, I’m familiar with the “little pinch” phrase.
Love it! Clearly the teacher is a liar – she should know the difference between leaving his pants down and sitting on the table, and pulling them up to sit on the table.
Oh, don’t feed the animal.
It’s never straightforward!
I pity the teacher trying to keep that one under raps.
Yep. It’s like the difference between a picture of an elephant inside a boa constrictor and a picture of a hat. Glad I’m long past this era but it’s my daughters’ turn. I see a stronger and stronger case for home schooling, but then that’s me…
HI,
I love it “That folder is filled with lies, written by a liar.” That was obviously said with a lot of passion.
Sounds like your sister has an artist, maybe a writer on her hands. That’s a good thing:)
I think that would be freakin’ awesome!
Creative and decisive. don’t be too quick – creativity is the most important aspect of a scientist…maybe he’ll discover something that will change the world (he’s already affecting change in his world)…or maybe medicine (cuts to the chase, does he? Doesn’t suffer fools? sounds like a surgeon..) Wishing for excellent creative teachers and kind, but firm parents – and a huge sense of humor for everyone.
Thanks. You never know what a kid will become. His older sister is fluent in two languages and adding a third. Wait until she finally gets to college. And his older brother plays several instruments and just started his junior high rock band.
Is this where the bar is now set in our school systems? The ability to pull your pants down and back up promotes you to the gifted program? Dang it; I was born two generations too early. Actually, I probably still wouldn’t have made it…The pistol is too cool for school.
He’s also an escape artist, but that’s for another story.
That boy is a pistol! I love it.
There’s a previous post about him during Christmas that’s also pretty funny.
I like the pistol. And he was right. The teacher messed up the story.
Can’t Beat A QUALITY Nephew/ThePistol Yarn hehehe
I Can EASILY Identify, Fo SHO!
Love These Postings.
-BRADLEY
Thanks, luckily there’s no lack of material.
That is how it is in youth ministry too. Just wait a little while and the trouble makers grow out of your class. This kid sounds like a riot.
I think that’s his kindergarten teacher’s mantra.
I like spunky kids. They grow up to be smart adults capable of wonderful things. I like the pistol. My granddaughter is a drama queen but somewhere in there, there is also a wise woman. I’ve looked into her eyes.
I just love that Pistol
he’s a smart guy, pistol. Good nick name too
Oh I love it!! It’s so much easier to appreciate children with spunk when they are not your own. I had 2 spunky kids out of 7. I have compassion for Pistol’s mother, her road is not easy but justice will win out when Pistol has children of his own and she can sit back and snicker (and she will
trust me)
Don’t worry too much about the Pistol’s mom, she’s reaping the results of a curse placed on her by our mom. “I hope you have children just like you.”
Maybe his teacher really is a liar.
Oh don’t encourage him.
The child has possibilities as a clothing designer.
That’s a new one.
Carl, I love your wit.
This was fun to read… As a preschool teacher, I had a kid refuse to color a paper once, then he complained that my not giving him a sticker on the blank page was unfair because the picture was supposed to be humpty dumpty and he was an all white egg…
Ah, the word games. You gotta love it <3
Our next Einstein!
Sounds like the pistol may grow up to be a politician. He’s pretty good at backpedaling and redirecting.
I’ve had the same thought.
His teacher should be glad she never had me. Tacks on the chair were child’s play. Although now that I’m over 65 I have more compassion for teachers. My mother’s bible was “the child from 6 to 16.” I knew where she hid it and kept a chapter ahead so I could determine the parameters of my world. Children are not innocent creatures. Once they discover the range and power of imagination and control they can be truly malevolent just for the fun of controlling their environment.
Wow, I pity your Mom.
I work with kids and that is the best thing I’ve heard a kid say all week!
I so enjoy all your story’s with The Pistol what a character ,You Rock !
Thank you, you’re super sweet.
Hello Deidra,
I think ‘The Pistol’ had it exactly right and teachers do not like to be contradicted. Somehow he reminds me of my grandson, I just hope he doesn’t do the same as Pistol and scare the bejesus out of the class hamster.
Oh poor hamster.
lol…he apparently is something else and adds much humour…loved reading this and he will be fine…we all did things in school when kids and some things we talk about and other things we don’t…I figure his was mild compared to some of the stuff done by others…lol…
Thanks, he great for blog material too.
What a kid!
After 27 years of teaching kindergarten…50 kids per year…I had enough “pistols” to outfit a gun shop. There’s a lot to love in every child, pistols and non-pistols. Every child has something special about them; you just need to find it. Pistol sounds like he has a lot going for him (apparently he can read the Friday Folder!) and will achieve a lot as he grows.
I love his spunk. I imagine it would be hard to keep a straight face around him at times!
I crack up all the time and egg him on just a little.
Love it, but so glad I’m past all that! BUT every step of the way is worth it. My 19 yr old just told me “Mom, you’re ok”
Ah that’s so sweet.
I love that kid!
As a former high school English teacher, I can say that those who teach the little ones are very brave! I could not have done that in a million years. Teaching high school was definitely tough, but it saved me from putting little stickers on everything. lol Great post.
Thanks for being one of the brave – teachers.
Best part of being an aunt or grandmother is being able to give the “little pistols” back to their moms. =)
Tho, spoiling them rotten beforehand is a total gas!
I have been known to serve chocolate cake and ice cream for dinner.
The Pistol is a class act! The smartest kids are Whips and Pistols…my son truly earned his last name, “Bull”…just add a prefix or suffix to that: to wit; , irascible, honorable, indomitable and you get all of the forms he was wont to morph into…and yes, the teachers could not rid them selves of him fast enough! Turns out he was smart. I do like your Pistol, keep the stories coming!
I think kids like that usually are intelligent.
The pistol is an interesting individual!
Hilarious and concise – I totally dig this post.
The Pistol’s parents might think about military school.
Except he might launch a take over.
All he did was pull his pants down? My nephew used the bathroom on one of his classmates while out on the playground!
Holy macaroni. (Favorite dish of saints and popes.)
The Pistol sounds just like my Bean.
Oh Lord could there be two?! Maybe they’ll team up for the next presidential campagn.
It sounds like his name aptly defines his character…Hahaha!
I like Pistol’s way of dealing with the situation. From now on, when I get a frowny face, I’ll pull my pants down and sit on the nearest table. It makes perfect sense.
LOL hope no one with a cell phone. You might go viral.
wow.. wot a blog!! i am following you now.. and thanks for your visiting mine
Thank you so much and you’re very welcome
This kid is Going Places (though not fast enough for his teacher’s taste perhaps) in life!!!
Good one!
This reminds me of my son’s second grade teacher … it was her first year teaching, and she was lucky enough to score the class that held the Wild Child.
I’m surprised she didn’t quit teaching halfway through the first week.
She tried (and tried and tried and tried and cried) to get him removed from her class, but the Powers That Be felt it was important for her to learn the skills required to deal with a “special child that requires a bit more patience”.
Poor thing.
I’m talking about my son, of course. (just kidding—that poor teacher)
Wherever you are, Ms. Alkire, it might bring you some comfort to know that it got much worse from there … your class was just the warm up to the main event, so you were right to be alarmed. Hope it didn’t cause any permanent damage. I have a very strong admiration for teachers, especially the ones that actually manage to impart knowledge amidst the chaos.
I’m with you there. It’s a tough job.
Ha ha! Oh Lord! As a kindergarten teacher, I find this so relevant!
Really, I’d have to retire.
Kids are so great, unless you’re the one sitting across from the teacher. My daughter once wouldn’t listen to a story at story time because it was too violent for her. Needless to say that was mentioned in a parent/teacher conference. I like his nonconforming attitude. Let’s hope he gets to keep it!
I think it will be difficult to eradicate. He was just born that way.
A highly intelligent child if you ask me! Fast track him!
Believe me the teachers trying.
Ha, straight out of their class!
My 5 y.o. Nephew started school this week, my Sister told me the following:
Nate just told the new teacher that “Mum’s brother lives in Seattle and that we went to America but he flew down to Disneyland and we didn’t go to Seattle and did you see the Stormtrooper?” exactly like that! Best part is his teacher followed the whole thing
Good for the teacher. I had to read it twice! And I’m still not sure about the Stormtrooper.
Yes that was a bit out there. It’s a long story but it is related to a guy walking from one side of Australia to the other dressed as a Stormtrooper to raise money for a charity. He met him at my Brother Inlaws podiatry clinic. http://twitter.com/troopertrek
That was funny Deidra. Thanks for the humor of the day.
Very welcome, but thank the Pistol
The Pistol reminds me of my 6 year old grandson and his responses to his weekly folder. Just before Christmas he was really full of himself and his way of apologizing and explaining was to let his mom read his letter to Santa, a convenient character at the moment. His letter started with “Forgive me Santa” and he goes on to explain why he did what he did and how the teacher just doesn’t alway get it right. My daughter knowing I would be in tears laughing when I read it and thereby encouraging him, showed it to me when he wasn’t around. At the present there seems to be a truce and weekly folders are without extra comments… truthfully… would be great if he got as many comments when he is doing what is asked just as when he is doing what he shouldn’t.
So true, the squeaky wheel.
Hahaha…that kid’s got grit! I like him already.
He quit popular, even amoung the family.
This “Pistol” character is truly fascinating! And I do think you pegged the teacher’s attitude pretty well..
I’m not judging the woman. I’d probably want him out of my class too.
Too wonderful for words!
I like The Pistol’s insistence on accuracy…
I know, he cracks me up. His pants were still down at one point.
Is that what is meant by ‘stretchin’ the truth’…..?!!
D,
For my sake you must post more often about “The Pistol.” I was compelled by the need to have ‘something’ to say to my 4 yr old recently, All I could come up with was, “Can’t you get a job? … or at least a hobby!”
Of course I was in a 5th grade class that drove 2 teachers to retire in one year.
I called my father and he said, “Good. [pregnant pause] The curse worked.”
Exactly. I’ve got a few more up my sleeve. I’m sure the pistol will supply more material as we go along.
We have one “Pistol” at our home also ..,so i can understand
Aren’t they divine?
I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, check it out
http://wp.me/p1t6mc-xF
Thank you so much. You’re information has been added to the Awards page.
lol. Gotta love pistols:)
Hi there! Loved your post! I have nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger and Versatile Blogger Awards. Do check it out here: http://roshrulez.wordpress.com/2012/02/13/the-kreativ-blogger-and-versatile-blogger-award/
Thanks for your kindness. I’ve added your name to the awards page.
Priceless!
Funny Guy! His version seems to be more accurate of what happened:-)
I kinda think so but I’m not supposed to encourage him.
Seems like your nephew makes your day a little more entertaining
He’s awesomeness, specially since he isnt mine.
^ this. I have a similar nephew. >:D
Don’t they rock!
Oh lord, I’m rethinking all my son’s teachers’ comments over the last five years. Was any of the news from that parallel universe true? I should really volunteer more often.
You have to pity teachers sometimes. I’m surprised more don’t write books.
OMG’sh this made me laugh so hard!
I should mention I homeschool. I’d just swat his neked bum… and then quietly walk to the other room to laugh hysterically!
That teacher deserves a round on society.
I don’t know how any adult can keep a straight face around the Pistol
Pistol is brilliant!!! Lol he sounds adorable.
Isn’t there a bumper sticker for a kid like that? If not, there should be.
Great idea. I’ll have to tell my sister. It’s never too early to plan for college.