I was with my sister and nephew on a foreign beach. It wasn’t a nudist beach, but apparently sometimes stuff just happens.
My nephew had just come to tell me, “Jesus walked on that water. I vomited in it.” Though geographically challenged, he was still cute.
On the blanket next to us, a guy and girl somewhere between 18 and stupid decided to have an all out wrestling match tongue included. I decided we should probably leave before my nephew caught on.
But my timing was a little off, because he was suddenly filled with righteous indignation saying, “You’re not allowed to fight with girls. They’re not as tough as us.”
As heads began turning, I grabbed his hand and started towards his mom and the car.
But my nephew wasn’t done yet. He loudly spewed some of his mother, saying, “You’re in trouble. Wait until your father gets home.” Not quite finished, he yelled over his shoulder. “Give her her shirt back. You are in so much trouble young man.”
When I found my sister, his mother my parting words were – “Here that’s your.” Before I left her with my nephew.
ROFL! What? You say this like you don’t want 25 of your own running around? Hahaha!
Oh no, fifty why not?
“Jesus walked on that water. I vomited in it.” ….classic!
And that’s why they call him The Pistol.
Lovely!
You made Suzanne and I giggle chicka!
Thanks for that!!
What are you two doing on my blog? Spying perhaps…
innocence vocal thoughts stirring in the sand
You have such a great way with words.
Oh so wonderful!
Thank you at the time it seemed more humiliating than wonderful.
Ahahaha! This had me laughing out loud…ah, my smile muscles are in danger of freezing in that position. Your nephew is a puckish little character, I love it!
Puckish, I like that. I may have to use it on him.
Would have loved to see that! Kids are fantastic! Yotaki Beautywalk
They do say the darnedest things.
somewhere between 18 and stupid ~ sounds like a learning opportunity to me or as they say in trade “a teachable moment” %^)
He was way to young to be taught anything. Though the couple could have stood a lesson in humility.
Oh my! You made me crack up! I hope that someday I’ll have an army of clever little ones like your nephew!
Enjoy it when you can!
Believe me these are the kind of nephews who are great at all ages. I have a couple of these guys.
Awkwaaard hahaha!!
You don’t know the half of it.
Too funny!
What a good boy; hopefully he’ll stay that way.Better to say that than “Hey, dude. Scoot over.”
OMG you’ve got a point there. I probably would have passed out right there!
Oh this had me laughing so much! Just the thought of a kid saying things like “give her her shirt back”. Oh my! Priceless.
Apparently all beaches are topless there.
The sense of embarrassment could not have been better captured!
Thank you, you’re very kind.
Hi,
The pictures this created in my mind, absolutely hilarious, the things kids say.
If a pictures worth a thousand words, that’s about a thousand I could do without.
Haha! This is too funny! My family and I anchored our little boat off the edge of an island near palm beach and we were all sitting there having some lunch. I caught a glimpse of a couple attempting to, you know, on the beach under a towel, but kept failing miserably. I started to laugh, but was trying not to draw too much attention to what I was looking at as there were youngins on the boat with me. my dad noticed my laugh and looked behind him to confirm I was actually seeing what I thought I saw! Luckily no one else saw anything. Too funny though!
And failing! Now that’s sad.
Foreign travel can be enlightening for the whole family;-)
I’ve been lucky to work in several foreign countries and love the diversity.
Priceless! and now you have shared this with us, we will all be able to remind hime of this when he grows up!!
That’s why I don’t use anyone’s real names. To protect the innocent.
between 18 and stupid
That is a fabulous phrase.
As for awkward moments, I have a photo from my honeymoon in Cancun where I have my bathing suit on, but a sunbathing woman in the background most certainly does not have her top on. It’s hard to see unless the photo is blown up a bit, but it surprised me the first time I noticed!
I read about a photo for a children’s clothing line taken on a European beach that had a man in the background with the same issue.
I hope they were listening. The Pistol clearly seems sharper than the “between 18 and stupids.” Thanks for the chuckle.
I don’t think they gave him a second thought. And thanks for the comment. I sometimes think my humor is something only I get.
Oh God that was funny…
Thank you. God probably thought so too.
Somewhere” between 18 and stupid “-AH-hormones.You’ll have a lot of memorable moments as he gets older,I’m sure.Funny story!
More hormones than brains.
This was hilarious, thanks for starting my day out with a laugh and a smile:) Made me think of that show, what is it, ‘Kids say the Darndest Things’, or something like that:) Awesome post!
Thanks, I love watching snippets from that show. Just my kind of humor.
A great story, I loved it. Ten pout of ten for your nephew.
He’s a hoot.
hahaha what a great story. how old was he?
Now the truth comes out. The current pistol is five. He did the got your back art. This is another nephew who had the same title. He was six at the time. Now he is referred to as the troll and quite likes that nickname.
To funny. That is what you get for babysitting but it was still funny
He never fails to amuse.
I’m still laughing. This is hilarious! Thanks for starting my day right
Leslie
You are very welcome and thanks for making mine with your kind comment.
You are very welcome and thank you for the comment.
Kids. They keep you on your toes, that’s for sure. Wanted you to know I have awarded you The Versatile Blogger Award. http://wp.me/p1QtlR-xU
Thank you so much. I’ve added your name and link to the awards page.
Kids are good fodder for entertaining stories!
Kids and animals.
So true
Such is the beauty of children Diedra. Things are very black and white for them at that age. Thanks for posting a highly enjoyable snippet of a young man’s life and thought processes. Hilarious.
Best regards.
Talia.
If I were to confess, I think he’s pretty brilliant.
I laughing out loud; dogs are concerned! this is great! My son, at age 8, went to the local college for a basketball tournament, after the game he and his team mates went to change in the men’s locker…a few minutes later; his coach came to find me..face reddened with laughter…apparently, my Justin had walked his little self down to the front reception area “to tell on the man walking around with out any of his clothes on” …then telling me “Momma, he was inappropriate” We still laugh about this almost twenty years later!
Loved reading this story!
Jess
They have their strict moral codes, don’t they?
Ahahahaha… the Pistol strikes again! xD Oh kids…
He’s quite a handful.
That was awesome. Good for your nephew to call out gross, inappropriate PDA.
Luckily he didn’t realize what it truly was.
I hope you don’t mind…I shared this on FB…too funny not to share.
Jess
I don’t mind. Thanks.
Priceless!! That made my day lol!!
Thank you and you made mine.
Your Nephew is quite a cute pie, I enjoy your blog immensely, it puts a smile
on my face every time. My sister will get a kick out of this .
Thanks I’m glad to hear it made you laugh.
So funny and so cute! Oh the age of innocence…
Yeah, it’s cute now, not so much then.
Great writing!
Thank you.
interesting and provocative scene.
I hadn’t thought of it as provocative.
Somewhere between ’18 and stupid’ and ‘wait until your father gets home’ I was in tears- from laughing so hard. Thanks for the great mental pictures and the most I have laughed weeks.
Thank you. There is not greater compliment.
I got lost in my own comments and started responding to the same comment twice. I’m not the super sharp intellect you probably thought I was.
Too funny. Among other lines, “Give her her shirt back” killed me.
Almost killed me too.
Now that is a funny story. LOL
Smart kid, he knows who is in trouble and when! LOL
Most of the time it’s him, so it’s probably down to instinct now.
Your initial instincts might have been to dive into the sand – a la ostrich style. But these moments – as you so eloquently described – are the same ones that make us smile for a lifetime. Thank you for sharing.
yeah, and they’ll make great black mail later :0
LMAO!!! Chi’lluns say the darndest things! The little darlin’s! That’s right up there with this li’l chuckle:
When my son was about 7, we were walking between 7th & 8th Aves on 44th st. (back when Times Square was raw & dynamic…before it became Disney World East). We were walking behind two transvestites and as we passed them one of them said something to the other in a deep bass voice. My son stopped, turned around and stared as he said, “Mom! That’s a MAN!!!” I couldn’t get out of there fast enough!
That’s hysterical! Thanks for sharing.
LOL!
We laughed ourselves blue reading this. Great post! We loved it. So, what did the young man and woman say? hehehehe
Keep up the wonderful posts! We love them!
God Bless You!
The Collies and Chuck
They were very engrossed in each other. We were in Barcelona by the way.
I like your writing ! follow your Blog now,
and thanks for liking one of my posts.
Thank you
I love children, they say it like it is. How about those foreigners…probably Americans on vacation as usual.
This beach was almost exclusively Europeans. Mostly locals just to make it a little more fun.
Even better…you’re right.
Hi, thanks for the ‘like’ on my post! I like your blog, it’s very entertaining!
Thanks.
Brilliant summary!
Thank you!
The power of innocence!
I couldn’t have put it better
Kids are great! they always come out with the darnedest things!
hahah this would totally be reader’s digest worthy
Is reader’s digest still around? I use to read them all the time in my Gramm’s toilet. Probably TMI.
Hahahaha! What a lovely story! Children say funny things all the time!
Your writing’s getting better.
Thank you. That’s great to hear. You rock.
Haha, what a little cutie!
What a great thing to read first thing this morning.
I loved the line, Wait until your father gets home. ::giggles::
absolutely hilarious! love kids timing = perfect!
Just proves my point that children must not be allowed outside the house until they’re at least eight years old. Maybe ten.
But who’s going to stay with them!
I’m dreading the day I might have to explain this to my young daughters! I feel for ya!
I’ve crossed the whole have YOU had sex with other nephews.
Deidra, having six precocious personalities of my own I blushed for you. And laughed at all those “character building” moments that we enjoy as adults with children in out lives. At the time we would like to become invisable, but after we can enjoy a good laugh. Keep it coming, humor is the best cure for life’s little moments.
Fawn
Thank you. I always say the day I can no longer laugh is the day I’m leaving a whoopy cushion on your seat.
hilarious.
I have a nephew who I believe would do something very similar, although my story would be slightly different as I would be bringing him back to my brother! lol… Funny stuff!
The truly humiliating moments seem to happen when Mom’s not around.
hahaha i love your nephew… he knew the right timing….
I think he got that down from rehearsals with his mother.
Laughed until seawater came out my nose! Or is that vomiting–if so, then Jesus is gonna *really* get his feet dirty! Yes, your nephew is definitely a Pistol.
Thanks. The walking on water really cracked me up.
Your nephew is a fine young man. “Give her her shirt back!” Priceless.
Yeah, specially since there wasn’t anything under it.
Out of the mouth of a babe.
Hilarious! Your nephew sounds like quite the gentleman. I have a feeling if this happened when he was 10 years older he would’ve kept his mouth shut.
I’m pretty sure he would have.
That is hilarious! I love it when he said, wait till your father gets home. Too cute, kids really do say the darndest things. (:
I think my sister can take credit for the actual words that came out of his mouth.
hello deidra (i’ve never heard that name before) thank you very much for the ‘likes’ on my posts. it is appreciated. good luck with the writing, i never had much patience for it myself.
Deidra comes from the Irish name Deirdre. My mom had to put her own take on it.
you are hilarious!!! i just read back like 5 pages… were you by any chance in france for this escapade? french people have no shame when it comes to nudity, or putting the mack on eachother. public displays of “let me rip your clothes off” seem to happen daily here
I use to work in France, but this happened in Spain.
Hahahaha! That is awesome! Don’t you love being an aunt? Great laugh!
I think I would have let him scold them just a touch longer before scooting him back to his mother. Would have LOVED to seen him in action.
He’s such a hoot. I wish my sister would record him.
You gave him back?????? No way, we would have been hanging the whole day! he sounds like a riot
His older cousins are in college and say if they were kidnappers, they would just keep him. He’s way to cool to give back.
Love it! Love it when kids speak the truth. Hope the ‘stupid’ couple on the beach felt mortified. Thanks for a great chuckle this morning.
They hardly looked up.
brilliant! if only as adults we kept that same candid innocence and honesty we’d bet muuuuch better off!
I see a bright future for your nephew!
He may rule the world or at least rock it a little.
Will be sending this link to friends, way too funny
Thank you. That’s very kind of you.
lol…lol…heck I would have let him finished for nor I would not want to see such either and I am way older than he is…lol…I truly enjoy reading your post for they are simply great…
Nice! Sounds like a scene straight out of a story to me!
I thought about writing a story around some of my travel antidotes, but could never come up with a coherent plot.
That’s adorable! I’m sure later on when you tell him that story he’ll be the one that’s embarrassed lol.
I’m just trying to scrub it from my memory.
lol
Hehehee
What a great story and heroic nephew!
Funny!
That was hilarious
Thanks for “liking” my post about creativity.
Thanks for sharing.
Someone has to stand for principles and decency. The pistol said it straight without hesitation. Standing up for what he knew was right. Me being introverted… must learn…..hnngngngngh…
Can you imagine being the one with him! LOL
Hahaaaa, kids are great!